Wizardrous by Jacob Hinsvark
A series of absurd pitfalls plague the already clouded mind of the drunkest wizard in the kingdom formerly known as Camelot. Fueled by drink and fearing the loss of his tenuously maintained career, the man known the most simply as The Wizard decides his best option is to plan an elaborate heist on the Circle of Magic’s vault. However, when he sets his poorly laid plans into action, he discovers a sinister conspiracy rooted deep in the history of the land. As he struggles to uncover details of this dark secret, he continues to get sidetracked by every kind of misfortune. Accompanied by his lazy, cynical nephew and some of his least favorite people, he must save both the kingdom and his own ass. If hilarious hijinks and lovably hateable characters are things you look for in a novel, then look no further!
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Description
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AmazonAbout the author:
My sense of humor is fairly twisted, so my writing isn't for the faint of heart. My focus is to make fantasy more accessible to adults, particularly those who want a good laugh. I'll be blunt: I like writing about terrible people. It's not that I think people are bad, or that I necessarily agree with my characters about anything; the fact is, quite simply, that terrible people are hilarious. There's nothing funnier than complete degenerates ruining each others' lives (as long as they're fictitious, that is to say). My goal is nothing more than to entertain you and make you laugh, so please don't take anything I write too seriously.
Here is a short sample from the book:
“Hey asshole, get up!”
Groaning, The Wizard sat up and tried to rub the pain out of his eyes. Looking up, he saw the familiar glare of his apprentice, Samantha. She was a petite young woman, with short brunette hair tied in a ponytail; her eyes were as clear blue as an arctic spring, although they currently burned with the fire of a woman scorned.
She was standing over him, with a packed suitcase in one hand and a bundle of electronics in the other.
“Care to explain why I just found this camera in my chambers with a direct line to your crystal ball?” Samantha chucked the bundle of electronics at The Wizard. It struck him on the forehead before he could answer. “I almost quit before, when you blew up the bathroom! And after that, when I found out you were practicing voodoo on me in my sleep! But this is it, I can’t put up with your bullshit anymore!”
“Woah, woah, woah,” said The Wizard, “stop dropping those truth bombs, or you’re gonna blow my mind!” Taking a massive toke off his bong, he held it out to her. “Want some?”
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