Way To My Heart by Barbara C. Doyle
There was nothing wrong with being the crazy cat lady.
At least that’s what I told myself after twenty-three years of being blatantly single.
A girl’s self esteem could only take so many hits before carbs, Netflix, and cats became her sole loves in life. After all, cats didn’t judge how much pizza you could eat in one sitting.
But then Caleb Winters had to wedge his way into my life by bribing me with chocolate and my cat with toys. And before I knew it, my cat was too attached to let him go.
And, okay, maybe I wasn’t keen on the idea either.
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FacebookAbout the author:
Hey! I’m Barbara Celeste Doyle, although my middle name should be awkward. My life is a romantic comedy gone wrong, so I’ve become obsessed with four-legged felines and chocolate—not necessarily in that order.
My love for the written word led me to obtain a bachelor’s degree in English and soon a master’s in education to teach college classes.
I love connecting with readers so find me online!
Facebook: Author Barbara C. Doyle
Facebook Group: Barbara C. Doyle’s Reader Group
Instagram: @Barbara_C_Doyle
Website: barbaracdoyle.com
What inspired you to write your book?
My dating life has been less than successful, and some of the things that occurred while trying to find SOMEONE worth staying with were cringe-worthy and hilarious. One day I told my friends, "My life is a rom com gone wrong." And they all agreed, so I decided to write about it. Thus, The Way To My Heart was born.
Here is a short sample from the book:
One
How You Know It Won’t Work:
You love chocolate more than humans
There were only a few things that I considered necessities in my life. Reese’s cups, classic rock, and destroyed skinny jeans. Not really in that order, but all important nonetheless.
Unfortunately, the more Reese’s I ate, the less likely I’d be able to keep fitting into said jeans. I refused to buy a bigger size, so I made sure to shake what Mama gave me to classic rock anytime I wasn’t shoving my thighs into spandex workout pants to exercise outside of my two jobs.
Did I love my body? Not all the time. In fact, I would love to shed a few pounds, trim my thighs, and get rid of the small rolls that folded over my stomach. But I loved chocolate more, specifically chocolate that covered creamy, delicious peanut butter. Therefore, the thighs stayed.
At least they were good for catching fallen food. And that, well, that happened way too often. Light colored jeans? Forget it. My parents jokingly bought me a month supply of Tide To-Go pens for any occasion. I’d gone through two of them since they’d given them to me two months ago. Was I going to admit that to them? Nope.
Just as Aerosmith’s “Walk This Way” came on, the washing machine ended its cycle, alerting me to switch the load.
It wasn’t until I was bent down grabbing the last full laundry basket from the floor when I felt somebody else in the room. Assuming it was one of my coworkers, I didn’t think much about it. Between the song I was dancing along to and the laundry I was prepping to put into the dryer, I just ignored whoever was standing behind me. Everyone who worked at Lakeview knew that I usually had music blaring while I worked. It made the time pass faster.
Of course, ignoring whoever it was wasn’t easy, with my backside on fire from somebody staring at it. Looking over my shoulder, I caught a man I’d never seen before looking at my ass with a smirk on his irritatingly attractive face. One of his dark eyebrows, ones that matched the color of his dirty blond hair, was raised and his icy blue eyes shone brightly.
“Would you like another few minutes to look at my ass or are you done?” I snapped, lips twitching. I stood up, turning to him, and brushed my frizzy brown hair out of my face to get better look at him.
My reaction caused his other eyebrow to go up, and now his smirk was more like an amused grin. And I hated to admit it but seeing him smile like that made him more attractive. Even if he was a perv for watching me while my ass was in the air.
“Actually,” he said casually, “I wouldn't mind another few minutes.”
I gaped at him for a split second before gathering my bearings. “Guests aren’t allowed to be in here. If you’re looking for help, you need to go to the front desk.”
He didn’t say anything. In fact, he pressed his lips together like he was trying to suppress an even wider smile. It gave me time to note how tall he was. I guessed six-three or six-four, his head almost grazing the top of the door jamb where he stood at the step of the maid’s closet. Being five-two, I didn’t have that problem.
I put a hand on my hip. “Do you need help finding the office? It’s not that difficult, you know.”
He chuckled. “Is this usually how you treat paying customers?”
“Only the ones who blatantly stare at my ass like they have nothing better to do.”
“Don’t be offended, sweetheart. It’s a nice ass, hence why I was staring at it. I mean, it was hard to miss being all up in the air like that. And I’m a man. I notice things like that. Take an interest in it quite frankly.”
“Staring at girls’ asses? Or mine?”
He leaned his shoulder against the door frame, the white t-shirt he wore stretching around his impressive biceps. He worked out. He had to. Even his clean-shaven jawline was defined in a way that was…
I snapped myself out of the stare down, because he was still there watching me check him out. Was I drooling? I wouldn’t put it past myself. All those muscles—
Ugh. Sometimes life wasn’t fair. It shouldn’t be legal for guys to look like him. And this guy clearly didn’t need his ego stroked.
“Women’s asses,” he answered, face blanching. “Girl’s asses make me sound creepy. Your ass specifically interests me in this case though.”
Was this guy for real? “You are a creep. Staring at anybody’s ass is weird. Regardless of the age.”
“You’re feisty, huh?”
“More like annoyed.”
“Well it works for you.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’ve got a job to do, and it’s not talking to pervy men. So, if that’s all, I’d like to get back to work. If you need help, the front desk is in the office down the driveway. Just go through the red door between the rocking chairs on the front porch.”
He had the nerve to scope me out, his eyes travelling from the top of my head—messy bun and all—to my painted orange toes. I’d never been checked out knowingly before. The way my body warmed up and tingles shot through my arms and legs was a foreign feeling. When our eyes locked again, my toes curled in my flip-flips.
“You’re…” I cleared my throat. “I don’t care if you’re a paying customer or not. If my boss finds out anybody is harassing staff, she’ll kick you out.”
The amused grin was back on his face. “I never said I was a paying customer.”
My eyes widened. “You do realize that just makes you sound creepier, right?”
He went to say something, but before he could, Iris walked up beside him, playfully boxing his arm like she was Sylvester Stallone in Rocky. She looked between us, a chipper expression lighting her face.
“You met!” she cheered, bouncing next to the guy and bumping their shoulders together. Her five-one frame was amusing to see next to him, because she only came half-way up his chest. Despite being vertically challenged, she was one of the most terrifying people I knew.
I snuck a peek at him, noticing the familiarity of his eyes when I glanced back at Iris. They shared the same round shape, thick lashes, and crystal blue color.
“Uh…not really.” I frowned, shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other.
Sensing my discomfort, Iris slapped his arm. “Caleb, what did you do to her?”
Caleb? Why did that sound familiar?
Then it struck me. Their resemblance and sarcasm were too much alike to be a coincidence.
“What makes you think I did something, sis?” Caleb asked innocently.
Iris looked at me apologetically. “I’m sorry, Paisley. My brother can be an ass sometimes, but he means well.”
Caleb’s interest piqued at the announcement of my name, which could only mean that Iris mentioned me to him. After all, she was trying to set us up.
I had the uncanny ability to attract men like him—the overconfident and arrogant. People accused me of being too picky when it came to dating, but they hadn’t met the past boys who drove me to being the cat lady. Caleb Winters would be just another number.
“So, this is Paisley?” Caleb inquired, looking at me again like he was seeing me for the first time. I wondered what he saw. My freckled cheeks? Pointed nose? Porcelain skin?
I deadpanned. “No, I’m Jessica. Your sister just likes calling me random names sometimes. Livens things up a bit.”
He tilted his head back and laughed. It was deep and throaty, and the way his chest rumbled made his muscles more prominent through the tight material of his shirt.
Abs. He had freaking abs.
“Yep, she was right. I like you.”
I crossed my arms on my chest. “Yeah? And what if I don’t like you?”
Iris sighed heavily. “Seriously, Caleb. I left you alone for, like, five minutes. How much damage have you already caused?”
He shrugged. “She caught me staring at her ass. If it makes you feel better, I said it was a nice one.”
Iris shook her head. “You’re an idiot, but I guess I knew that already.” She turned her focus to me. “Excuse my brother, he’s such a guy. He’s right though, you have a nice ass.”
I felt my cheeks redden. Traitorous bitch.
“Well…” I fidgeted with a few fallen strands of hair. “Thanks, I guess.”
Caleb answered. “You’re welcome.”
I eyed him. “I wasn’t talking to you,” I informed him coolly.
Iris frowned. “Paisley, Caleb is—”
Caleb cut her off. “Awesome. Sometimes socially awkward. Usually the latter is just around pretty women. That’s a compliment, by the way.”
Iris snorted. “You didn’t need to point that out, dumbass.”
His head bobbed from side to side, contemplating his reply. “I’ve been called worse. The point is, I like you. You listen to decent music, you’re a smart ass, and you have a nice ass. Total package.”
“What if I’m really a raging bitch?” I quipped, narrowing my eyes.
“Iris wouldn’t try setting me up with a raging bitch. Or any type of bitch. She likes you. She said I’d like you.”
I grimaced, eying Iris. “What else have you said about me?”
There weren’t many good attributes that men deemed sexy about me. I tripped over my own words, my feet, everything. My middle name shouldn’t have been Marie, it should have been awkward. Half the time I preferred the company of my cat over most human beings, I was addicted to chocolate like it ran through my veins, and when it came to any refined carbs, I gained ten pounds just breathing near them.
She gave me a reassuring smile. “Nothing bad. Just that you can cook, you have a great sense of humor, and you’re mature for your age. He’s right, I did say I liked you and think you two could work. I wouldn’t put so much effort into trying to set you up otherwise. Hopefully, my hard work hasn’t been ruined by this moron.”
I couldn’t understand what was wrong with him that made her think we’d work.
Caleb laughed. “Thanks, sis.”
“I’m being honest,” she replied.
“Never said you weren’t.”
I just stared between them, not knowing what to say. My playlist was still playing in the background, now blasting Journey’s “Who’s Crying Now”.
“Well…” I turned toward my phone, shutting off the music app. “I need to finish this laundry before I head out. But it was—”
I stopped myself, not willing to lie. I wasn’t going to say it was nice to meet him. Nice to stare at his muscles sure, but that was about it.
Iris snorted, shoving her brother again. “I can’t believe you messed this up in less than five minutes. That’s a record for you.”
Caleb just grinned, like it didn’t bother him. I knew guys like him. He loved the chase. It didn’t matter if I wanted to be chased or not, I was a challenge.
And the thing about challenges and me? We didn’t get along, just like I was sure Caleb and I wouldn’t. He was going to hurt me like the others. While I was just as much to blame for the past failures that plagued my conscious, it still hit me hard.
I turned toward Iris. “Thanks for thinking of me, but I’m not interested in being set up.”
Her face screwed. “With Caleb or in general? How long has it been since you’ve been la—”
“Whoa!” I cut her off, eyes cutting to her brother. His lips wavered, like he was trying to hold back laughter. But there was obvious interest in his eyes.
“Don’t stop on my account,” he pressed, crossing his arms across his chest. “How long has it been, Paisley?”
My brows pinched when he said my name. It rolled off his tongue in a way that had my palms clammy, and I hated it. I hated the prickling tingles in my fingertips when our eyes locked and how hollow my stomach got. Feeling like I was going to cave to the old version of myself made me worry about everything I built to become who I was now. Strong. Cautious. Independent.
Glaring at him, I said, “That’s none of your business.” I look back at Iris. “I have to finish this, so we’ll talk later?”
She blew out a breath. “Yeah, okay. Come on, Caleb. I’ll go introduce you to everybody else. Don’t make an ass of yourself any more than you already have.”
He chuckled as she pulled him back. She was tiny compared to him in every way possible. But he let her drag him away with little fight despite the foot height difference between them.
“I’ll see you later, Paisley,” he purred, winking at me.
I straightened my spine. “Don’t count on it.
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Sample from Book:
Ensie smoothed out the dog-eared corner of the blueprints for the dozenth time. She shifted her weight on the bench, feeling the warmth of the sun on the back of her neck. She was too poor to own a watch, but she resisted the temptation to duck out into the hallway again and check the sepia-faced clock mounted on the wall. It had been 10:20 on the spot when she’d checked it moments ago. That meant that, by now, twenty-five minutes at most had passed since she’d left Mister Upforth and the rest of his team. And Upforth had said Cooper—or was it Carper?—would meet her in fifteen minutes. But the drafting room might be hard to find, for a civilian who’d never seen the Aerial compound before. And there had been an awful lot of wood left in that cart for just one person to move quickly. Even someone so tall, with those big arms and broad shoulders…
“You need to get a hold of yourself,” she said aloud, pressing her palm against the desk. She closed her eyes.
You’re an Aerial technician. Your ‘naut wants a consultation from a civilian firm. You’ve been trusted with getting information vital to the success of your project. This is Business with a capital B. Not some kind of private—
—and don’t you dare even finish that thought, because seriously: this is Business.
She scratched the space between her too-thick eyebrows as she looked at the door.
And even if it wasn’t Business, the morose thought crept through her defenses, it’s not as if anything’s going to happen. Any friendly vibes you’re getting are because he’s good at his job. Do you really think that there’s anything about you that would inspire unprofessional thoughts in a civilian guy like him? When he’s meeting all the other wisecracking Aerial girls and the Parade squad knockouts on the same day? Count yourself lucky you’re getting to talk to him at all. You’re just—
The door inched open. Ensie leapt to her feet behind the desk. There he was.
“There you are,” she said, rubbing her hands against her hips.
“So sorry,” he mumbled, turning sideways to come through the narrow door. He sounded a little out of breath. “I… I thought I heard you say ‘third building on the right,’ but I must have misheard. That’s actually the, uh, fuel center, I learned, where you guys are doing some crazy things with petrolatum…”
“Oh, gosh, you went to the refinery?”
“Yeah, through a back door. Got a little turned around with the fumes. But then someone—I forgot his name—pointed me here…”
“Spheres, I led you to the refinery without a mask! I am so sorry. I don’t know why I… I meant to say ‘first building on your—’”
“You did. I’m sure you did. I just heard it wrong—”
“No, no, I’m sure I said… I don’t know what I said!”
“Listen, with these ears, all bets are off. It’s a miracle I’m here at all.”
“It is.”
They stood facing each other with their hands flat against their hips. The sunlight illuminated the lower halves of their bodies.
“I’m Ensie,” she said, for no reason.
Why, oh why, oh why do I speak?
He smiled at her. His teeth were a little small and his gums were a little long, so when he smiled he looked like a kid, with a child’s whole-hearted good humor. “That makes, what, the third time we’ve done introductions?”
“I’m sure, probably,” she laughed. She touched her fingertips to the desk and found herself leaning towards him. “My third time, at least. And somehow I’m still not sure what your name is! Carper? Cooper? Caper?”
“Cooper Carper, actually.”
She felt herself smiling like a porpoise. She ordered her lips to stand down. Business. “Nice to meet you, Mister Carper,” she said, very professionally.
“You too, technician.”
She tilted her head at him. ‘Technician?’ Who are you, Sir Tomas? “You can call me Ensie.”
“Well, then,” he said, pressing the door closed behind him with a click, “you can call me Cooper.”
Business!
“I’m on a project now for a concept craft called the Flicker,” she said, brushing the blueprints with her hands as she stared fixedly at the parchment. Cooper came over to the side of the desk to look. His hands floated in space for a moment as he considered resting a big palm on top of the desk to lean over the plans, as she was doing, which would have brought their heads very close together. But instead his hands interlocked behind his back in a sort of parade rest and he just bent his head to look down. Ensie tried not to watch him as she folded the dog-eared corner back into place for the thirteenth time.
She laid out the specifications for the grasshopper-like craft, discussing fuel projections, the airflow models they’d run, and the properties of the alloys they’d debated for the hollow, curved wings. Cooper’s head bobbed up and down, and he offered a succession of mmm’s and I see’s at appropriate times. As she heard herself talk, she fidgeted with the bottom edge of the desk and only allowed herself quick glances up at his face. It was hard to tell if he was following the run-down at all, which gave her a heavy feeling in her stomach.
Burn me. Maybe Mister Upforth had a good reason for wanting that woman Skye to be the one to talk to me…
“So,” he said at last, shifting his weight. She looked up at him. “What exactly do you need us for?”
“Just wanted to, uh, forge a partnership with Upforth’s for a consultation on our ranine apparatus. That’s all.”
Cooper nodded. His forehead was wrinkled with vigorous thought. Ensie folded her hands together and tried not to let her disappointment show. He had the look of someone at an absolute loss for the right thing to say. Please, please, don’t be stupid.
“Honestly?” Cooper said.
“Mmm-hmm?” she said, tucking one of her bangs back into her hairnet.
For a long moment, he just looked at the plans. Then he shook his head and gave a heavy sigh. His hands reappeared from behind his back and he leaned down so quickly their foreheads almost brushed.
“Mister Upforth’s going to kill me,” he said, “but I don’t think you need us at all. The ranine designs you already deploy don’t have any trouble getting a Bulwark Petronaut off the ground, do they? And a Bulwark ‘naut in full armor’s gotta be eighty percent of the weight of this Flicker; maybe even the same, if their suits are steel and this alloy of yours is as light as all that. And I can’t imagine your test pilots are bulked-up the way Bulwark grunts are. I mean, who flies your things?”
“Knighted ‘nauts and expert techs, mostly,” Ensie said, her eyes widening. There was a whole new energy to him.
“So, right! When I think of a burly man or woman in armor jumping through the air no problem, and then I envision someone on the svelte side—like you—piloting a Flicker that, all things being equal, is the same weight but with, you know, better airflow?”
“Hang on,” she said.
“Sure. Sorry. I know I don’t have the right terminology—”
“Did you say, uh.”
She pressed her lips together. Business! But there was no hope.
“Did you say I’m ‘on the svelte side?’”
Cooper’s looked down at her. His face went gray with horror.
“I hope that word means what I think it means,” he whispered.
She looked to the far wall. Cute? Petite? Is that what you meant? She longed to ask him that like a Parade squad nymph would say it, drifting towards him with an archly raised eyebrow and a lazy, kissable half-smile. But just playacting through the line in her head set a swarm of nervous giggles buzzing around in her throat, perilously close to her voice box, and it was all she could do to keep a lid on them.
“You’re.” Was that my voice? The word was a mortifying squeak.
Ensie swallowed and tried again. “You’re right that the aerodynamic profile of the Flicker sure beats an armored ‘naut,” she said, folding the corner of the blueprints back for the fourteenth time. “And weights are comparable. But the jumping action we’re thinking of is on a different scale.”
“Ah, okay. Higher elevations.”
“Yes, but more importantly, jumping’s the primary locomotion for the Flicker. A ‘naut can leap around from time to time, sure, but most of what they do is run. A totally different use of the coils and their, uh, built-in suspensions. Their legs.”
“Whereas the Flicker does nothing but jump,” Cooper said, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Jump, and glide, and jump, and glide. You see? That’s why we need to make sure the coil box we build can handle tons of impacts, and launch with tons of force; but not so much force that the pilot loses control. See? It’s tricky.”
“It’s tricky,” he agreed. Cooper raised his hands. “To be honest, though, I’d trust you Aerials more to make it work right than I’d trust us.”
“But, uh.” Was he really going to walk out of her life because he was too honest to land his company a contract? Keep him. Keep him here! a hungry voice blared out somewhere inside her.
“You must have done something this size before,” she said, hurriedly.
“Oh, sure. We’ve worked big carriage suspensions. A motorized dais that raised and lowered, too, and had a bunch of dancers leaping around on it for, uh, a play or something.”
“See? So Upforth’s could lend experience with scale, while we figure out the whole ‘aloft’ part.”
“Ensie. I just want to be sure we wouldn’t waste your time.”
Ensie took a deep breath through her nose. “It would take a lot of time,” she said slowly. She curled her hands into little fists, rubbing her thumbs against her fingers as she looked up at him. No giggling. No giggling!
“We’d have to meet, uh… quite a few times, probably.”
Cooper looked down at her. His hands unlocked from behind his back and floated to his sides. “Quite a few times?” he said, quietly.
“Oh, yeah. A big project like this could take hours and hours of collaboration.”
He nodded. One of his large fingers pointed to the desk. “Here?”
As he tapped the surface of the desk, Ensie thought of purposes for the wide flat surface that had never even crossed her mind before. She’d never wanted to get started on a collaboration so badly.
“Or your workshop,” she said. “You know. Whichever sounds more productive.”
“Either sounds good to me.”
“Great.”
“Great. Can I say—”
“I just want to—”
They both spoke up simultaneously, and leaned a little closer at the same time. It brought them many centimeters closer than either had meant independently. Ensie froze there. He was so close that her hairnet was almost brushing the center of his chest. She turned her face up to him and saw something very interesting in his eyes.
“You first,” she whispered.
Cooper took a long moment before speaking. “Can I just tell you that I’m looking forward to working with you?”
“Likewise…” Ensie shifted her hand so their fingertips on the desk were touching. “Cooper.”
He shifted his hand on top of hers. Warm pressure, skin-to-skin, flooded up her arm and into her chest. The contours of his rough palm were fascinating as she explored them through the fine hairs and delicate nerves of the back of her hand. Her vision went a little blurry as she dedicated all her brainpower to experiencing his touch against her skin.
A massive noise clattered through the hallway just outside. Ensie recoiled before she recognized the sound of the tool cart for what it was. Cooper started too, raising his hand up and away. He flushed the color of an overripe apple and he refused to meet her eyes as the tech outside pushed the noisy cart from one workroom to the next.
“I.” Ensie brushed the nonexistent dust off the blueprints again, trying to get her voice under control again. Cooper slowly put his hands behind his back.
“That, uh.” He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. That was unprofessional of me, and I’m sorry.”
She looked up at him.
“I shouldn’t have… I mean, I didn’t mean anything by, by touching you.”
“You didn’t?”
“Well, I… it’s not… There’s a time and a place, that’s all. Unprofessional,” he rambled, shaking his head.
Ensie felt the grain of the desk beneath her hand. “I made you think unprofessional thoughts,” she murmured.
Their eyes met.
“It’ll never happen again,” he said, something low coloring his voice.
Ensie raised one eyebrow in an unspoken ‘really?’ she would have been very proud of if she had been able to see herself.
Sunlight flooded the room as their lips pressed together.
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My Paper Heart by Magan Vernon
My Paper Heart
On Paper Wings
A Paper Trail
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SUNRISE FROM AN ICY HEART: A MEMOIR by Claudette Alexander
Four years of daily passionate loving, near the ocean, in the car, during moonlight days and sunset horizons, coupled with glasses of rum punch, came to a halt when thick lipped, Linus Hyacinth, emigrated from St. Lucia to Canada in October 1972 in search of greener pastures.
In the midst of trying to adjust to the extreme changes in climate, he searches for work as an architectural draftsman. Miserable and missing his lover, he worries about her loyalty amidst a sea of man-peckers. He writes her weekly professing his love and his desire for her to join him.
Nine months later, June 1973, the naive Claudette Alexander, sets off on her journey in pursuit of love and prosperity. In Canada, love takes on a different direction as she tries to adjust to Linus’ broken promises, culture shock, racism and single parenting.
As she embarks on the sea of love, she encounters stormy weather and her heart gets as frigid as the North American winters. It will take a special man to crack through her icy heart.
After four failed relationships, she meets Malcolm James. He is quiet, patient and soft spoken and has loved her when he first met her as a teenager. He has yearned and longed for her. Crossed the ocean, and had his fair share of failed relationships.
But Malcolm needs to break down these walls and bore through her icy heart to rescue her from herself and get to the sunrise as she battles kidney failure.
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Bang! You’re Dead by Debra Salonen
Judy Banger is done apologizing for her name, her weight and her sexuality. She is sorry–really sorry–about Buddy Fusco–the dead guy in her bed, but she didn’t see that one coming…probably because she was too busy um…you know…to notice the exact moment he kicked the proverbial bucket. Does that make her a bad person? Or is she simply someone who’s played by the rules too damn long and is fed up with where being good has gotten her. She’s ready to be bad…or, at least, very naughty.
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