Slut by Saranna DeWylde
“You’re a woman who is comfortable in her own sexuality. That necessarily means you must be labeled, categorized and filed away for everyone’s safety.”
Rebecca “Bex” Foxworth likes that description of herself. It makes her sound strong, dangerous, and powerful—like she’s standing against some grand injustice by using her body as she sees fit. That’s how her friend Claire Howard sees her and if Claire has taught her anything, it’s that labels are defined by the people who wear them, and not the other way around.
But SLUT is more than a label to Bex: it’s her armor. It protects her from ever having to share her true self. The loop in her head tells her she’s innately flawed and wholly unworthy. Why else would her parents insist she go under the knife for a new nose, a new body, and plastic perfection?
That’s something Thornton Henry Edgeleaf would never understand. Thornton is perfect, in every way—handsome, worldly, passionate—with just one unforgivable flaw: he’s utterly sincere. It makes Bex want to run screaming, back into the familiar, indifferent arms of men who won’t fail to dismiss and mistreat her. But nothing’s as easy as it used to be…
Description
Find more from this author on:
About the author:
Saranna De Wylde has always been fascinated by things better left in the dark. She wrote her first story after watching The Exorcist at a slumber party. Since then, she’s published horror, romance and narrative nonfiction. Like all writers, Saranna has held a variety of jobs, from operations supervisor for an airline, to an assistant for a call girl, to a corrections officer. But like Hemingway said, “Once writing has become your major vice and greatest pleasure, only death can stop it.” So she traded in her cuffs for a full-time keyboard. She loves to hear from her readers.
What inspired you to write your book?
This is the second in my Labels series. It’s about the labels that we stick on each other and ourselves. That track in our heads that tells us that we’re not good enough, smart enough, thin enough… No matter what we do. It’s about defining ourselves with our own choices. This book is so close to my heart, just like Fat because I have these same tracks in my head. So, I guess you could say my inspiration was the journey to self love and self acceptance.
Here is a short sample from the book:
Thornton Henry Edgeleaf was all that a young society woman could want, but I didn’t hold that against him. He was classically handsome, educated, polite, rich and best of all, he fucked like a champ.
So why was I just looking up at the lovely paneled ceiling waiting for it to be over?
We’d had dinner at Chateau Avalon—at his insistence—but getting the suite had been my idea. He’d dutifully purchased the “Tuscany,” chocolate-dipped strawberries and champagne for dessert, and already scheduled room service and couple’s massages for the next day.
It wasn’t that the sensation of sex with him that was unpleasant, it wasn’t. He did everything right. He was like the Mary Poppins of bachelors, practically perfect in every way. Hard jaw, a body he worked hard to maintain, blue eyes so clear they reminded me of the sky. His skin had this warm golden glow that couldn’t be bought with any fake UV light. In short, he was beautiful. He touched me in all the ways I was supposed to like.
My legs were wrapped around his waist and his handsome face was buried in my neck while he moved toward his own culmination. I clung to him, fingers digging into his shoulders and hips arching to meet him—all very practiced moves designed for his pleasure, not mine.
And my reputation. I didn’t want it to get out that I was bad in bed. I knew the right moves to pantomime, but I never orgasmed during sex. For me, it was all about the chase. All about getting to this point.
Because I never believed I could.
I loved the dance of predator/prey. I loved that split second before the first kiss where supernovas burn and die in that space between your lips.
His lips moved up my neck and against my ear. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” I had to get my head straight. I tightened in a vicious Kegal to get his mind off me and back on his dick. I concentrated on the motion, flexing, pulling him deeper and squeeze, relax, squeeze with the cadence of my breath…
“That feels damn good, Bexy, but this is doing nothing for you. Tell me what you want.”
What I wanted? I didn’t even know where to start.
“You’re a woman who is comfortable in her own sexuality. That necessarily means you must be labeled, categorized, and filed away for everyone’s safety.”
I don’t know why my brain chose that moment to remember what my friend Claire said to me, but since she’d said it, it flopped around in my brain like a wounded bird at the most inopportune moments.
“I thought I wouldn’t have to ask a woman like you.”
I pushed at his shoulders and he rose up over me to meet my eyes.
“A woman like me?” A slut. That was half the reason any of these guys ever asked me out—because they knew I put out. And I didn’t care. I liked that they wanted me. I liked sex—no, that was a lie. I liked how I felt before sex. I liked being pursued. I liked being told how pretty I was and I liked all the stupid things guys would do to get into my panties. Then I felt like they deserved the prize after they jumped through all my hoops.
And they did call me names like whore, slut. But that was usually behind my back—not when I was on it. I stiffened, frozen, waiting for his answer.
“You’re not like a lot of the other women in our circles. You don’t lie back and dream about the wedding you think this will get you and my bank account. You’re a woman who lives for pleasure. So tell me how to give it you.” His voice was raspy and low, his erection still hard inside me.
He brushed his fingertips over my collarbone, my shoulder and down to my hand where he linked our fingers.
What kind of game was he playing? I was assaulted by memories of fat camp where that counselor told me how pretty I was, that he liked me for more than my fat and if I would just tell him what I wanted, I could have it.
After I paid him.
I looked up into those endless blue eyes searching for an answer to that question, but all I saw was an honest sincerity.
It was absolutely terrifying. I didn’t know how to process that because I didn’t believe it.
“If you changed your mind, we can stop.”
Suddenly, I had to get away from him. Away from this… connection. It twisted my stomach. I didn’t want a connection. I just wanted him to fuck me and go away. I just wanted him to prove to me that I made his dick hard, that he really wanted me. I didn’t—I couldn’t.
I didn’t care if he told people I was a bad lay, I didn’t care what he said about me as long as I got away from him. My skin was on fire, and I felt trapped under his body—a rabbit beneath a wolf.
“You’re terrified,” he murmured, his expression concerned. His cock wilted and he eased off of me.
I vaulted from the bed and shimmied into my clothes as fast as I could. “I have to go. I’m sorry.”
I didn’t give him a chance to reply and I fled before he could stop me.
I could’ve had the hotel call me a service, but I didn’t want to wait in the lobby just in case he came downstairs.
What the hell was wrong with me?
I supposed to the answer to that question was more in depth than what I wanted to deal with at the moment. Or what I could deal with.
Claire. I’d call Claire. I fumbled in my bag for my phone as I stumbled out the door and made my way toward the shopping center so I could get lost in the throng of people and hide until she came to get me.
“Can you come get me?” I asked as I climbed on the shuttle that would take me over to the Legends shopping center that was on the other side of the speedway.
“Are you okay? Where are you?” she demanded.
“I’m fine. I’ll be at the Legends. I’ll wait in the theater parking lot.” That was a great place to hide, but it didn’t make me vulnerable like the parking garage.
“Do I need to kill him?” Claire replied.
“No, he didn’t do anything. I just… please.”
“I’m on my way and I’m bringing Brant. Just in case.”
“Okay. Thank you.” I hated how my voice trembled. I hated how my hands shook. I hated how he asked me what was wrong. I hated that I had to call her to come get me. I hated everything about tonight.
“I’ve got your back, Bex.”
I hung up. I didn’t usually mind when she called me Bex, but I kept hearing his voice in my head.
Bexy.
Fuck you, Thornton. Fuck you and your pretty words and your easy intimacy. All I wanted was sex. I didn’t want him to see that part of me, all naked and vulnerable. It was just an exchange of fluids but he’d tried to make it something more and shat all over it.
It took her thirty minutes to cross town, but in that time I flinched at every car that drove past me, every time I heard a man’s voice until finally, I managed to get hold of myself.
“Wind yourself down, bitch,” I mumbled to myself.
If Thornton was going to find me, he would’ve by now. It comforted me in a strange way that he hadn’t chased after me. It meant he was like all the rest of them and this had been about his ego, his performance. Not any real concern for me or what I needed.
That was good because it meant he hadn’t tried to dig any deeper than I wanted to let him.
When Claire and Brant, her boyfriend, pulled up he scanned the crowd of people with the same intensity as I had.
“Is he here?” Brand demanded.
“No.” I shook my head. “Really, it’s okay. It just… it wasn’t a good night and I wanted to come home.” I slid into the back seat and Claire followed. “You don’t have to—” She hugged me.
That was intimacy too, but somehow from Claire, it was okay. I let her hug me and I hugged her back.
“Whatever happened, Bex, you can tell me,” she reassured.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I really didn’t. I didn’t even want to think about it.
“You don’t have to. We’ll add him to the Asshole List and never speak of him again if you don’t want to.”
So far, there was only asshole on the Asshole List and that was her ex-roommate, ex-lover Kieran Holt. Hot as hell, but definitely an asshole. But that was a stripper for you.
Cold guilt washed down my back. Brant used to be a stripper and he was the furthest thing from an asshole. He was a nice guy—a regular prince charming. He was so good to Claire and that umbrella of goodness extended to her friends.
“Thanks for coming.”
Brant flashed me a look over his shoulder. “Uh, no. That would be thanks for not coming.”
I was horrified. They’d been in the middle of having sex and I’d ruined it, all because a boy asked me a question I didn’t like. Their relationship had been a roller coaster and when they got back together, they were taking it slow. They’d been waiting for a special night and I’d—
Maybe I belonged on the Asshole List. I sank down in the seat.
“Kidding, Rebecca. And even if I wasn’t, it’s not a big deal.” He winked at me in the rearview.
Claire shot him a dirty look, but his grin assured she didn’t hold the expression for long. “Don’t tease right now.”
“No, it’s okay.” I leaned my head on Claire’s shoulder. “Were you really having sex?” I whispered.
“Sort of. It’s probably best that you called anyway. Sign from the universe to wait a little longer,” she whispered back.
Yeah, confirmation I was the world’s biggest asshole.
I spent the ride back to the apartment in silent contemplation. Why had Thornton reminded me of that counselor at fat camp? I’d put it out of my head, or I thought I had. I hadn’t been Butterball Bex in a long time. Bariatric surgery had fixed what fat camp and my prodigious father couldn’t.
He’d asked me if I wanted a kiss and I’d paid him to kiss me. I never thought I’d have my first kiss otherwise.
I wish I’d known a woman like Claire then. She’d have laughed in his face and told him to get fucked.
She had curves for miles and she seemed to be made of confidence and sass. She was a self-proclaimed fat girl who’d managed to fall in love with herself. I admired her so much.
She told me once that she didn’t want to be pretty for a fat girl, she just wanted to be beautiful.
And she was. In every way.
I wished not only that I would’ve known someone like her, but I wished I could be more like her. I wished I could love me.
But I didn’t. If I did, what she said about being a woman comfortable in my own sexuality would be true and it wasn’t—even though I desperately wanted it to be.
I guessed that was the root of the problem—desperation. I was desperate to be beautiful, to be wanted. To be beautiful enough for all the things the world had to offer beautiful people.
Like love.
Since I couldn’t have that, I just needed to feel like I was worthy of it and the chase did that for me. These guys I slept with just took what they wanted and it was over, but I was okay with that because I got what I wanted.
It wasn’t an orgasm. It was validation.
How fucking pathetic was that? What was even worse was I’d had enough therapy that I could deconstruct myself—I knew all the areas that were fucked up and broken.
I still couldn’t fix them.
Maybe there was a part of me that didn’t want to.
I shouldn’t have called Claire. Instead, I should’ve gone to one of the bars and let a new guy take me home. Let him tell me I was beautiful, let him fuck me, and then sneak out in the morning intact and feeling great.
Instead, I wallowed in bad memories with the stain of pseudo-sincere kisses on my lips.
I blocked Thornton’s number.
If only it was so easy to block the memory of what had happened between us.
Related products
-
Box Set: Shades of Pleasure (Five book bundle) by Tawny taylor
Dominant billionaires. Secrets and blackmail. Fantasies come true. Shades of Pleasure brings you five books from New York Times and USA Today Bestselling author Tawny Taylor. This decadent five book bundle of novellas contains: What He Wants, At His Mercy, Pleasing Him, Ties that Bind and Enslaved by Sin–a total of over 90,000 words. If purchased separately, these books would cost over $12.00.
What He Wants (My Alpha Billionaire, 1)
Billionaire Shane Trant is used to getting what he wants. What he can’t buy, he takes. When he sees Bristol Deatrich, he knows he wants her. But there’s a problem. Only complete possession of her mind and body will satisfy him…
At His Mercy
Sometimes freedom can only be gained through captivity…
Elena Caine has secrets. The kind that could devastate her life if they’re revealed. And now a selfish bastard is dragging the skeletons out of her closet. She’s being blackmailed. There’s no way out–but to turn to the man Elena trusts least, the quietly seductive Dom Kyler Pierce.
Pleasing Him
Britt Olsen is shocked when the man who bought her house, the gorgeous Andre Cruz-Romero, shows up at her front door a week after closing. Now Britt has her chance to get to know the enigmatic man who has inspired a fantasy or two, or more. But she is both shocked and thrilled to learn about Andre’s extreme erotic tastes…
Ties that Bind
Illusion. A word shaded with nuance, making the men who practice it–the masters–enigmas. Particularly when they magically materialize from the shadows of a woman’s past.
It’s been fifteen years. No longer the tormented young men Blair knew and loved so long ago, Damon and Trey still know how to touch her heart, how to draw out her secrets, and how to bring her to the edge of ecstasy. Blair has two weeks to unravel the ties that have bound the three of them together. Two weeks to solve the mysteries veiled by her seductive masters’ illusions. And two weeks to surrender to the smoldering desires burning in her body as she submits to their darkest demands.
Some ties can never be severed.
Enslaved by Sin
Over two hundred years ago, the Master of Sin welcomed guests to Castle Greh, inviting them to taste decadent carnal pleasures every night. Now, some claimed the castle was haunted by the dark prince and his many lovers. She was about to learn the truth…
Finding Alice by Stephane Morris
Romantic, sensual and enlightening.
This novel creates a new genre by taking a refreshingly different angle to other romantic novels. A love affair leads to a journey of self-discovery that is both thought provoking and enlightening.
John Mason is a successful businessman. A beautiful free spirited woman brings out passions John never knew existed, with consequences he could never have imagined. What unresolved inner conflicts from his youth does the love affair expose? Can he overcome them? If he does where will that leave him? The outcome is unpredictable.
A life-changing journey that is both fascinating and confronting.
Literally, a page-turner that starts slowly but will ultimately grip you and hold you to the end.
For mature readers.
What Do Lesbians Do In Bed? 21 Sapphic Stories by Giselle Renarde
Have you ever wondered what lesbians do when they get together? Is it all fingers and scissors and lips between legs, or is there WAY more to the slippery story of lesbian sex?
In this hot new anthology, enjoy twenty-one explicit tales of lesbian love. From shoe fetish to opera gloves, sex in public to quiet winter mornings, from a taste of taboo to strap-on DP to extremes that shan’t be mentioned here to full-on Sapphic bukakke, even connoisseurs of fine girl-on-girl action are likely to discover a new idea or two in this sexy new collection.
Whether you can appreciate this book’s title ironically or you’re authentically curious about what girls who love girls do in bed (or in parked cars or at the office or in a church basement or in a restaurant bathroom), grab a copy today and get in on the nitty-gritty secrets of lesbian sex.
Giselle Renarde’s erotic fiction has appeared in over 100 anthologies, including prestigious collections like Best Lesbian Erotica, Best Lesbian Romance, Best Women’s Erotica, Girl Fever, and the Lambda Award-winning collection Wild Girls, Wild Nights.
SEDUCTIVE SUPERNATURALS: 12 Tales of Shapeshifters, Vampires & Sexy Spirits by Erin Quinn, Caridad Pineiro, Erin Kellison, Lisa Kessler, Chris Marie Green, Mary Leo, Maureen Child, Cassi Carver, Janet Wellington, Theresa Meyers, Sheri Whitefeather, Elisabeth Staab
Bad boys, tortured alpha heroes, and kick-ass heroines all come together in 12 steamy full-length paranormal romance novels and novellas from NY Times, USA Today, and national bestselling authors! Whether you’re looking for tantalizing dark tales or the humorous side of the supernatural, you’ll get werewolves, vampires, fallen angels, monster hunters, and ghosts—every one of them a hot temptation you won’t be able to resist…
DIABLO SPRINGS by Erin Quinn: Gracie Beck vowed that she would never to return to Diablo Springs, but the haunted town lures her back—along with the man who betrayed her years ago. Reilly broke her heart with his lies. Now, he wants a second chance to win her, but can they survive the ghosts of Diablo Springs?
VAMPIRE REBORN by Caridad Pineiro: Would you be reborn for love? Ryder Latimer, sexy Southern vampire, will have to make one of the most difficult choices in his undead life: Become human again or protect his new wife and child.
SHADOW FALL by Erin Kellison: Just discovering her magic, ballerina Annabella Ames didn’t mean to summon a dark wolf from Twilight, nor the tempting fallen angel Custo Santovari, who has no place in Heaven. The cunning wolf stalks them relentlessly, and danger seduces as they fight for redemption and love.
NIGHT ANGEL by Lisa Kessler: When Colin Flynn returns home to Ireland, the immortal Night Walker’s flesh has healed, but the scars hide a broken spirit. Juliana Duffy plays piano in spite of her deafness, challenging him to redefine himself and find the strength to battle an ancient enemy.
SHADOWS TILL SUNRISE by Chris Marie Green: Two monster hunters fighting a star-crossed attraction and one bloodthirsty phantom leaving a trail of death… Can love survive till the sun rises?
A SHADOW AT TWILIGHT by Mary Leo: They say Hotel Colorado is haunted, but when Dillon Spencer appears in his hotel room to find Hilly Thompson, his assistant, soaking in the tub, he begins to question whether or not he’s alive, dead, or caught in another dimension.
MORE THAN FIENDS by Maureen Child: At 32, Cassidy Burke discovers she’s a legendary Demon Duster. But she’s got bigger problems than some pesky demons. Like, Logan Miller–first love, baby daddy to her genius daughter is back. Then there’s Devlin Cole, a walking orgasm with too many secrets. Cassidy’s life is out of control and about to get way too interesting.
IMMORTAL POSSESSION by Cassi Carver: When Dr. Evelyn Vale is paired with Immortal Bounty’s sexy commander to go undercover and infiltrate a supernatural body-trafficking ring, she’s eager to get to work. Until she learns the catch… To crack this case, he’ll need to possess her body.
FOREVER ROSE by Janet Wellington: Tarot cards predict a dangerous journey for Taylor Rose, but she doesn’t expect to travel back to 1888 San Diego. What the cards didn’t predict was falling for a man bent on revenge, a helpful ghost, and spooky séances. Is she there to prevent a murder or to find love?
WELCOME HOME, VAMPIRE by Theresa Meyers: Corporal Cole Wagner lost his humanity in war – literally. Turned into a vampire by the military’s Vector Force, he’s the ultimate weapon, but when he returns home to set the past right, will the enemy stop at nothing to get him, including threatening the life of the woman he loved, and lost, before?
VAMPIRE MAGIC (Blood Genie, books 1 and 2) by Sheri Whitefeather: Two tenderly romantic, wildly erotic stories featuring supernatural hybrids (vampires/genies) who grant wishes for the exchange of blood.
WILD NIGHTS WITH A LONE WOLF by Elisabeth Staab: A mandatory vacation lands Agent Sherri Walker in bed with a local werewolf. Asher Hughes walked away from his outlaw pack but couldn’t ditch the bad blood. Together they’ll have to pull off one hell of an act to get out of treacherous territory alive.
Some Like it Geek by C. Jordan
Fall Quiet by Zoe York
To Score or Not to Score by Angela Quarles
One blind date. One case of mistaken identity. One Navy SEAL faced with his high school crush. What could go wrong?
The Adorkable Girl and the Geek (Gone Geek 5) by Sidney Bristol
The Girl Next Door by C. Jordan
Bath Bomb by Clara Leigh (Forbidden Bad Boys)
Recipe for a wild weekend: Take one geeky actor, a video game idol, and cinema’s best known towel model. Add a chocolate-box cottage, a liberal sprinkling of snow… make that lots of snow, and an oversized bathtub.
Result: THREESOME!
In the Spotlight by Ally Decker
Pretending to date a movie star definitely wasn’t on Sylvia Urban’s agenda but a girl has to do what a girl has to do. And after a paparazzo catches them in rather uncompromising position, this is exactly what this girl has to do.
Greg Abrams really needs everything to go right if he wants his new project to get green-lighted, but when the cute Broadway geek almost literally falls into his life, things get complicated really fast.
As the pair grows closer, the ‘pretend’ part of pretend dating gets thrown out of the window, but after they started off as a lie, it’s hard to know what’s real and what’s not.
Play by Olivia Devon
Aaron Eldridge’s passion for his latest virtual reality program skyrockets when he meets a woman who shares his obsession for all things geek. The premier launch of HyperLyfe at Lux, Manhattan’s hottest sex club, would be a perfect opportunity to get Katie Martinez to check out his new toy, and the kinky sex ideas he has in mind.
What if your deepest fantasies could come true?
Perfect Need – Seven Tales of Love and Passion by Barbara L.B. Storey
Close your eyes.
Fall in love.
Stay there.
~ Rumi
You never know who you’ll fall in love with, or why, or whether it’s a good idea – ask Rowan in A Star, A Stone. A sudden rainstorm – Stormy Weather – or even an exercise class – The Queen of Heaven – can be the spark that creates abandon and exhilarating passion between two lovers. In Dolce, a full-course Italian meal prepared with love whets . . . other appetites.
The stories in Perfect Need explore what love and passion can become, how they can affect two people for a moment, or for a lifetime; when they tumble into a love they never expected; when they decide it’s worth the risk to stay . . . or not.
The problem of getting Rich Quik … part one by S M Mala
When you’re single and in need of hot love, both emotionally and physically, you think your options are limited. It’s just one glimmer of hope that could turn it all around, even if it involves falling back into bed with the trickiest bastard of them all, Richard Hayden-Quik, a man with a reputation of being a stud muffin on Viagra.
It was only six years before Lily spotted Richard, a successful film director, her aim to get Rich Quik – seduced by his looks, charm and the size of his wallet. Even her best friend Dominic knows it won’t be easy especially as Richard’s super bitch PA, Rosana, will do anything to stop Lily getting to her boss.
But she knows he’s a tricky bastard with a checkered past, a long term lover and a best friend who hates her guts. The road to her one true love is littered with female bodies and she’s not sure if she’s a match for a man who thinks monogamy is a type of wood. And she is the last one to realize he has an ulterior motive for being with her.
Lily hopes she can get Richard though life’s sudden shocks, twist and turns have the greatest possibility of making her literally lose everything she loves… all due to the problem of getting Rich Quik.
Reviews
There are no reviews yet.