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Iris really was thinking about going to bed. It was so early, though, and she pictured herself tossing and turning again, so she decided to take a bath first. She went upstairs to her bathroom and filled the tub. She even poured bubble bath in and got herself a drink of herbal tea, hoping that it would help relax her. She lit a candle and turned off the lights, then she got into the very warm water and laid her head back against the edge of the tub. She closed her eyes. She tried to meditate for a while. She listened to her breathing and let her thoughts drift away on their own. The only sound was of water occasionally dripping from the faucet or sloshing if she moved.
Instead of clearing, however, her mind wandered into a large garden: an orchard of apple trees. She was wearing a beautiful long silk dress drawn in tight at the waist. The sky was a deep blue color that matched her dress, and the air smelled like apple blossoms. She was walking barefoot through the orchard. The thick grass felt wonderful on her naked feet. And, suddenly, a man was riding towards her on a tall black horse. He was wearing brightly polished armor and carried a shield with a picture of the sun and a half-moon on it. His face was covered by his visor. He got down from his horse and was walking slowly towards her. Why wouldn’t he lift his visor? A real knight would. She wanted to see his face and, at the same time, she was growing strangely afraid to see it. He was standing only a few paces from her now. His right hand was on the hilt of his longsword. Her hand was caressing her own breast in the tub. Her fingers were lightly touching her nipple. She pinched it lightly, and now she rubbed it a little harder. The soap and warm water made it feel really nice and slick. Somehow it was more exciting not to be able to see his face, and yet it was bothering her, too. This was her own fantasy. Why couldn’t she just make his face be the way she wanted it?
She opened her eyes. That question had gotten her thinking too much. What should his face look like, she wondered? Iris had no answer for herself. Shouldn’t she know what her dream man’s face would look like, at least generally? What would he be like if she met him? If she didn’t know either of these things, where would she look for him, and how would she recognize him even if he bumped into her with his cart at the grocery store?
The bath, at least, had relaxed her. She got out of the tub and pulled the stopper out to drain the water. She slowly dried herself off by candlelight so she wouldn’t break her slightly sleepy feeling. She looked nice in this light. Her hair was damp but still curly. She still had a pretty firm body from years of tennis in high school and college. She thought that this perfect knight who wouldn’t lift his visor would want her, even if he was just a fantasy. That was something to work with at least.
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