Peninah’s Passion by Andy Lang

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About the author:

He currently lives with his wife and their young son in Uganda.

What inspired you to write your book?

The idea came to me many years ago, before I hade even considered writing as a career. I worked in a huge apartment complex in northern Spain as entertainments manager, and the company that operated the bar and restaurant always struck me as a little shady. That is where the story began, back in those days I had decided to call any book that I ever got around to writing Jaded (the main female protagonist being Jade). Years passed, and eventually I found time to begin writing while I was living in Kenya, from that point I developed the plot, but swapped Jade for Peninah (my wifes name) and added an interracial twist, basing the action in Spain and East Africa. So there you have it… an idea born in the 90’s but finally delivered with the help of my wife 20 years later.

Here is a short sample from the book:

Later that night she awoke and reached for her phone on the night stand, flipping open the cover and saw it was 3 am. Alex snored softly beside her. I can’t believe how good it felt earlier, so naughty, so risky. What if someone had seen us? The thought sent a shiver through her body, Oh my God, did I really want that? The thought blossomed into confusion as she fought the answer that was creeping into her mind with shocking clarity. I did want to get caught, I did want to be seen, seen by a stranger! She lay awake staring into the darkness trembling slightly, Is there something wrong with me? Why does that idea make me feel so… so. She hunted for a better word than what had automatically popped into her mind. Excited, she finally admitted. She closed her eyes and tried to push the images from her mind, she wanted to sleep, to wander and explore the revelation in her dreams, but sleep evaded her. God I wish we had been caught, the thought entered her consciousness unbidden, quietly she slipped from the bed determined to purge the erotic images with a cold shower. Grabbing a light gown she headed for the bathroom, closing the door gently so as not to wake Alex. She found the light switch by touch, and for the second time that night she was amazed by the opulence of the bathroom, exquisite tiles, marble basins and gold fittings. Peninah opened the door to the adjacent dressing room and flicked the lights on. This was the room she had always dreamed of having, beautifully built fitted wardrobes, more drawers than she could ever hope to fill and full length mirrors. On the only open wall was a pair of huge wooden shutters. Standing before the largest mirror she let the gown slip to the floor and turned slowly studying her naked form.
She was proud of her breasts, even at the age of thirty they were still firm and shapely. While she had been back in Kenya she had met many of her age mates, tired looking women followed constantly by a small tribe of kids, their breasts now little more than udders, shapeless, hanging, The penalties of children she had decided. Cupping her own breasts she squeezed gently, delighting in their instant return to shape, she was happy with her body, she had added back the few pounds she had lost at home, she felt healthy. Turning she admired her ample bottom, not too big, not too small, she enjoyed the admiring stares she received when she wore tight jeans.
Without conscious thought she opened the shutters and stepped naked onto the small balcony, now exposed on the outside of the house she revelled in her wickedness, she knew that at this early hour the land around would be completely deserted, no one would see her nakedness but the exposure thrilled her.
She laughed inside, I wonder if I have the nerve to do this during the day? She pictured herself standing on the balcony in broad daylight, the thrill sent shudders through her whole body.
Do I dare? she asked herself the question again and considered the pro’s and con’s. Seriously, I am far from home, no one knows me here, her courage and conviction built steadily. I’m only going to be here for a couple of days, and I doubt we will ever come back. It’s not like I will bump into people that I know have seen me naked every time I go to the supermarket. A smile spread across her face as she peered towards the dark outlines of the trees that surrounded the cortijo. “I really am working hard on convincing myself.” she giggled quietly and performed a slow spin picturing a voyeur in the bushes, his eyes glued to her.
Is it just the risk of being seen? The question needed an answer, Is it just a nice fantasy, would it feel as nice if it became reality? Or would I just feel dirty and degraded?
She couldn’t answer and for a second she considered, Would it make me unfaithful to Alex?
Of course not, her arousal replied, It’s not like anyone would be touching me. A wave of shock passed through her like electricity as the image formed in her mind, an image she quickly dismissed. Would I really let someone touch me? Would I allow anyone close enough? A stranger! Another question requiring an answer, an answer she knew she couldn’t admit, even to herself.
A quiet sound in the bushes across the wide gravel drive drew her instant attention and she turned to run to the seclusion and cover of the dressing room, the sound carried to her again and she paused in the doorway. Slowly she turned and walked slowly to the cast iron railings that encircled the balcony. This is what you wanted, she told herself, Although it’s probably just a falling branch, or a rabbit, or something innocent like that. Despite her own assurances that the sound had been natural she leaned against the railings and pushed her chest forward. “Oh my God this feels so good.” she groaned quietly. I hope someone is there watching me!
“Would I really let someone put their hands on me?” she whispered as she stared intently in the direction that she guessed the sound had originated, The way I feel now, I know the answer is yes. The honesty shocked her, yet she groaned softly as her imagination ran riot, Yes, oh yes, I want that, I really do want that now.
Let’s face facts, she told herself, once again seeking inner justification, For years men have been staring at my boobs. Occasionally she would wear a loose top and give them a quick peek as she leaned forward, That’s was not being unfaithful, that’s just being a tease and a little naughty. She smiled as she remembered a memorable moment one evening in the bar. She had been helping out by collecting glasses.
He couldn’t take his eyes off them, she giggled quietly at the recollection. She had bent forward to gather the glasses together from his table and tracked his eyes as they darted to her cleavage, Let him look, she had thought at the time before drawing his attention as a wicked idea entered her mind, “I’ll be right back to wipe the table down for you.” his grin had been broad. Rushing to the staff changing room she had almost torn her bra off. Now you can look she had chuckled as she snatched a cleaning cloth from the bar and strode out onto the packed terraces. “Oh yeah, he saw everything,” she whispered out loud. And I think he loved it as much as I did. But if he had plucked up the courage to reach out… would I have let him? It was pretty obvious I wanted him to look, he can’t have failed to notice I returned without my bra. “It’s a pity he didn’t try.” she giggled.
Sighing softly she willed her eyes to catch the outline of a man in the bushes. Any man. She longed to hear more movement across the wide drive.
Lets face it, allowing someone to touch me is not much worse than letting them ogle my twin assets ‘accidentally’, she smiled, her mind was working hard on rational justification, Come on Pen, just admit it, you want someone to touch you, someone who isn’t your husband, a stranger.
“Now that would be cheating,” she whispered again, But maybe it’s only cheating if I let it go further? “Damn, outdoor love making has really messed with my mind,” she laughed as she took one last lingering look into the shadows before walking slowly back to her gown.
Her reflection stared at her from the full length mirror, This is what they would have seen, she turned slowly, her eyes critically following every curve. Maybe someone was watching me, maybe someone will see me tomorrow! Her thought brought another shudder, a deep shiver of arousal and anticipation before her modesty ambushed her and guilt bloomed.
I can’t. Can I? The question lingered.
***
Tip toeing to the kitchen she boiled water and hunted for tea, there was no milk but she would drink it black, glancing at her phone she saw it was 3.45am. Shocked she asked herself, How long was I out there, surely not half an hour? Realising it must have been she giggled softly, They do say time flies by when you’re having fun.
Sipping a cup of steaming Darjeeling she started to plan her début as a full blown exhibitionist, her final decision made as she crept down the wide staircase.
I want to be seen, but not obviously, she had started to feel shame at openly standing on the balcony flaunting herself, she decided that was not the approach she wanted for daylight, I want to tease, I want to be seen, all of me, but I don’t want it to look like an invitation. Maybe in the dressing room again? She discarded the idea, it was too far from ground level and to ensure she displayed everything she would have to stand on the balcony, That would be far too obvious, she decided.
I can’t plan this, she said to herself, I’m going to have to play it by ear and see what opportunities arise. Maybe I won’t get the chance, but I’ve built a fantasy now, one day I will make it a reality.
Sliding back into bed beside Alex she lay in the dark staring blindly into the nothingness remembering how good it had felt standing on the balcony, waves of shame washed over her alternating with a wicked desire and thrill, she was still hesitating despite her previous conviction. Standing in the dark is very different, in the daylight I will be completely exposed, there won’t be any doubt in my mind. They will see me, all of me. Maybe I should keep my panties on, just go topless, hundreds of women do it on the beaches every day. She pictured the scene that was so common on the coast, There are so many naked boobs on display that no one even looks. Somehow the thought of lying topless on a beach failed to stimulate her mind, That’s too ordinary, not very daring.
It’s because it’s accepted, expected, understanding flooded her confused mind, That’s why the beach doesn’t excite me. Now when I consider that guy in the bar staring at my tits, he wasn’t supposed to be seeing them, I was dressed, that’s why it was so exciting. She glanced across at the dark shape that was her husband as he snored softly beside her, “I will never be unfaithful to you my love, I will always be by your side, but I need this baby, I truly need it.” her words barely a whisper.
I want to be seen, all of me, my whole body. She discarded the idea of covering at least half of her modesty with underwear, And I will not feel guilty, even if I let someone put their hands on me. She shivered at the thought and understood that it had become a vital part of her fantasy, she longed for the sensation of strange hands exploring her.
“You woke something hidden tonight my love,” she sighed as she touched his face softly realising she was attempting to shift the blame, You did baby, you woke something that is burning me inside. Her thoughts began to crowd again with doubts, and an argument raged, should she follow her plan through or abandon it completely. Her internal debate swung to and fro as she drifted finally to sleep.