Make Me Whole by R.C. Matthews

For Jake Hanson, it was the perfect solution to a deep darkness. The accident took more than the use of his legs; it took everything that made him feel like a man. He needs their ménage. It puts him on the path to healing. With Jessie and Chad, he can conquer anything…he thinks.

Jessica Hanson did it all for her husband, to make him feel whole again. She didn’t want a threesome. At least, that’s what she believed in the beginning. But when she realizes that she can’t imagine life without both her husband and his best friend by her side, she’ll question everything she thought completed her.

FBI agent Chad Wilson, couldn’t believe he agreed to his best friend’s proposal. There were too many things beyond his control that could go wrong. But when things go right, he is forced to admit to the best months of his life. Yet on the heels of his greatest joy comes his greatest fear. He’s endangered them all, and the clock is ticking.

They’ll push the boundaries and blur the lines, coming face to face with one of life’s hardest truths: Sometimes to become whole, you have to break.

SKU: B07D2M3B1X Category: Erotica Tags: contemporary romance, menage, open relationship, romantic suspense, threesome

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About the author:

R.C. Matthews is the author of contemporary and historical romances featuring bold, sassy heroines and magnetic alpha heroes. Warning! The chemistry between her characters is off the charts hot, so read at your own risk. She resides in the Midwest and is surrounded by men: her husband and three sons. During her free time you'll find her watching The Walking Dead, reading a fabulous book or hanging out with her family.

What inspired you to write your book?

I wanted to try my hand at erotic romance, so I wrote this book!

Here is a short sample from the book:

Jessica Hanson quickly turned her back to her husband to grab a clean cup from the cabinet. Bad decision. Her fingers trembled uncontrollably as she strode to the refrigerator to fill it with water. Her mouth felt like every single drop of saliva had been sucked out. She raised the cup to her parched lips and took a gulp.
“I’m sorry, Jacob. I don’t…”
Dragging a deep breath into her lungs, she fought to keep her wits about her. What the hell is going on? Two hours ago, she had dropped Jacob off at Mickie’s Bar & Grille to meet Chad for dinner, and now Jacob was spouting a bunch of nonsense about a ménage? If Chad was still around, she’d wring his neck. This must’ve been his idea. It was right up his alley.
Tears welled in her eyes as she knelt beside Jacob’s wheelchair. “I don’t understand where this is coming from. Why on earth would we invite a surrogate lover into our lives?”
“To get our old sex life back,” Jacob said, cradling her face in his hands.
His words sliced through her like a razor, and she shook her head. Feelings of guilt and inadequacy were eating him alive. That much was clear. Golden flecks in his hazel eyes sparkled with unshed tears as she searched his face. He was an attractive man in a consummate All-American way, with his cropped dark blond hair, chiseled cheeks and jaw, and plump lower lip.
“It wouldn’t be the same,” she said, nuzzling her cheek in his palm. “We’ll never get our sex life back. And that’s okay. Life happens. So many other things in life are more important than sex.”
“Don’t you miss it?” he whispered with an arc of his sculpted brow. “Sex in the shower? On the kitchen counter. From behind on all fours? Hell, I even miss missionary style. Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re not tired of riding me while I lie limp on our bed beneath you.”
He was cruel to put her on the spot like this. He knew she would never lie to his face. Yet how could she break his heart? Hadn’t he suffered enough in the past six months? She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip. “We do it on a chair sometimes.”
“Open your eyes, Jessica.”
Her heartbeat jackhammered as she opened them and stared beyond his shoulder.
“Now look at me.”
“Jacob, please don’t—”
His finger crooked under her chin as he leaned over to kiss her lips with a warm caress.
Gentle. Soothing. Forgiving.
He pulled back and gazed at her with tortured eyes. “Don’t you miss it?” he asked again. A deep crease formed between his brows. “Lord knows I do, baby.”
She acknowledged him with a slight nod. “But that doesn’t mean I want to screw some stranger.”
“I’m not asking you to be intimate with a stranger.” Running his hand through his hair, he sighed. “Just hear me out. Can you do that?”
“Fine,” she said, standing and walking over to the kitchen island to make herself comfortable on a bar stool.
“We used to have it all. Wealth. Love. Amazing sex. Every fucking day you were wrapped around my cock.”
A blush crept up her neck and into her cheeks at his crude words. Even after all the years they’d spent together, she still couldn’t hear the word cock without turning every shade of red known to man. How could he expect her to participate in a ménage?
He chuckled at her discomfort and tried unsuccessfully to wipe the grin from his face. “You’re so cute when you do that.”
“Sorry,” she said, burying her face in her hands. “I’m being stupid.”
“No, you’re wonderful. Beautiful. Loving. Caring. I used to give you the world,” he said wistfully.
After lowering her hands, she found him staring at his lap and tracing a crease in his jeans with his finger.
With a soft snort, he returned his gaze to hers. “Now you do everything for me. You get so little in return these days.”
Tears flooded his eyes until one slipped through his lashes to run down his cheek. He wiped at his nose with his hand. “I feel like a useless piece of shit. Broken. Empty. A dead weight dragging you to the bottom of the ocean with me. I wasn’t perfect before the accident, but I knew how to love you with every inch of my body. And there is nothing I enjoyed more than watching your response. Every expression on your face. Every touch of your hands. Every little moan that escaped your lips as your body trembled in ecstasy from my touch. I can’t make love to you anymore like I used to, but I still have eyes, dammit. Let me watch you lose yourself again in the heat of passion. I don’t want to live like this anymore. Going through the motions. All I’m asking is that we give it a try.”
A knot formed in her stomach as he poured his heart out. He wasn’t defensive or belligerent. Neither anger nor fear radiated off him. Only heart-wrenching pain was etched into the lines around his eyes and mouth.
“I’ll do anything to make you happy, Jacob. But this—”
She emptied the air from her lungs and took a full, cleansing breath. “I can’t fake passion. Not even for you. I’ve never dabbled in crazy sex. No ménage. No innocent flirts with girls. We don’t even watch porn. What if I can’t do it?”
“Then we’ll stop after the first try.” His brow furrowed as he cocked his head to the side. “Aren’t you even a tiny bit curious?”
Was she curious? Her pulse quickened as she recalled her body’s intense response to an erotic romance she’d read only weeks before about a ménage. The one that left her panties soaked and feeling guilty as hell, because she’d never felt the need before the accident to turn elsewhere for a sexual high.
Was she curious? If she was honest with herself, then the answer was hell yes. Just because she’d never had the courage to dabble in a risqué sex life didn’t mean she hadn’t secretly fantasized about it once…or twice. And the fact that she was curious scared her more than anything else. Fantasizing was one thing, but acting out one’s fantasies was quite another. Who could predict how they would each feel when the deed was done? Jacob was her life. Her love. She didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize what they had. But to answer his question…
“Yes. I’m a tiny bit curious.” A groan escaped her lips as the inevitability of the situation hit her. She combed her fingers through her long hair and sighed. “Who did you have in mind?”
“The best lover I know,” Jacob said with a weak smile. “Besides me, of course. The only person I trust to show you the respect you deserve.”
“Oh my God.” Her breath hitched in her lungs as her hands flew over her mouth. She stared wide-eyed, knowing without a doubt who he had in mind, because there was only one man Jacob trusted implicitly. “Please don’t tell me you want me to have sex with your best friend. He’s been buried deep inside half the single women in the state. Absolutely not!”
“He promised to get tested before we start,” Jacob said, holding his hand up to stay her further objections. “You two have a solid friendship. I trust him to be respectful and discreet. He’ll do whatever I tell him. We’ll make this as comfortable as possible for you. And he’s handsome to boot. What more could you want?”
“You already talked to him?” she nearly shouted.
“He’s the only one I trust…and I didn’t want to bring it up and freak you out without knowing if he would do it.”
Trembles rippled down her spine and filled her stomach with a queasy ache, churning up the dinner they had just eaten. This was happening. It was what Jacob wanted. What he needed. And she could deny him nothing since the accident.
“So Chad agreed?” she asked with her stare trained on him.
“Yes,” Jacob said with a nod. “As long as you’re okay with the idea, then he is willing to try it. For me.”
“And if I hate it?”
“We’ll stop.”
“And if it makes me hate you?”
“Then I’d rather not risk it.”
She choked on the sob rising in her throat and ran over to sit on his lap, throwing her arms around his neck. His musky scent washed over her as he held her close. He loved her. Enough to continue wallowing in pain rather than risk losing her. Her instincts warned it was a bad idea. But if there was even the slightest chance that this could restore Jacob’s self-worth and happiness, then how could she not at least try?
“Okay,” she said, leaning back and kissing his lips softly. “Let’s give it a try. But I have one stipulation.”
“Anything,” he said with a grin.
“You have to attempt any new sexual position I think up. With just the two of us.”
He groaned and squeezed her tight around the waist. “But I can’t—”
She placed her hand over his mouth, nipping his protest in the bud. “All I’m asking is that you try before you declare that you can’t. I’ll talk to your physical therapist about positions I have in mind. Just to make sure I’m not pushing you too hard. Deal?”
He nodded. “Deal.”