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About the author:
She continues to lead that quiet life in Pennsylvania with her husband of twenty+ years and their two spirited children all of which keep life interesting.
What inspired you to write your book?
My dream is basically the first chapter of my novel.
Here is a short sample from the book:
Beginning of Chapter One:
“And it won’t hurt?” she inquired again as he brought the strap around from under the bed.
“No, I’d never hurt you,” he replied.
She felt the tightening pinch on her wrist as he yanked the binding. Everything accelerated now—blurs smearing through the dimness, whirling breezes of skin-prickling air as his inhuman movements surpassed the racing of her heart, images of the dim room fading in and out. His statuesque face came into her line of sight and out again. He was meticulous about the process. He had everything ready right down to the very necessary, tiniest of details, like the freshly cut lilacs placed on the stand next to her. Even the corners of the bed sheet were tucked and crisp, adding a softer restraint to her body.
It was an invariable rule to leave the room untouched. It had to remain constant. To her, it always felt like an ancient tomb littered with concealed, encrypted algorithms. Except today, this day was different. Now positioned like a goddess in the center, altered and created especially for her, she lay ready and waiting for the ceremony in her honor to begin. However, sometimes the act of waiting drew out the very humanistic quality of doubt from even the most confident of momentarily goddess-like women.
She strained her gaze toward the second strap being secured. She had to ask, “Why the straps again?”
“I want to make sure you stay on the bed. I need you to be perfectly still so you are stable.” He came into her view again and leaned over. With one quick movement, his fingers swept the auburn hair from her forehead to reveal her eyes filled with a sudden apprehension. “We’ve been over all this. Are you sure you want to continue?”
She zeroed in on his voice—calm, but an edge of annoyance stabbed through it.
Her mind parted ways from the moment. Part of her wanted to say no. Too many things were now suddenly unclear to her. She now worried about the unknown. What if something went wrong during the process? What if it was painful? What if she fell off the stupid bed?
But then, in an instant, she felt bad for doubting him. She had asked to be a part of this, even begged him relentlessly. He was determined, at first, not to let her anywhere near this idea. But she had persisted, and he could no longer defend all the cons. She was enthralled by the whole possibility. Her mind was convinced that the universe had brought them together to help each other. It was her turn now to help him.
Why did she suddenly doubt him? Maybe it was due to letting her insecurities surface these past few weeks. Throughout this wonderful year, he had bared his soul and shared his secret life with her, but his heart had kept her at arm’s length. However, during one recent twenty-four-hour period, she thought he had opened his heart completely, allowed her to move closer to it, touch it with permanence. But by the end of that day, he sealed it off again.
He then withdrew from their life altogether and back into his isolated world of science. If she did see him briefly, everything she did or said seemed to annoy him. He looked at her with different eyes, if he looked at her at all. His sudden indifference had stifled her like slow-rising pollution, dredged her spirit, and sparked virgin-like insecurities. She hated the feeling of choking on someone else’s crap, even his. Especially his.
Before this air of cold impassivenesshad set in, she felt confident and ready for this experiment. They had spent innumerable hours together going over every detail of this process. He had an answer for all her questions, even the what-ifs that would always plague her. Sometimes she had lain against his chest with only the warmth of the blanket dividing them as they discussed every detail, risk, and exciting possibility this experiment could unleash. She had listened and knew every aspect of the process. Even when the talking ceased, she would always lose herself to sleep in his comforting arms and continue to dream of every vivid detail.
Finally, her solitary heartbeat echoing off his chest would lull her into a deeper place of contentment. It was in this place she would be liberated from the minute details as she flew on a seagull through incoherent dreams of a frolicking unicorn in the sand. The gull would brush the sun rising over the sky’s dark canvas to unfold a display of pale gold, peacefully spreading over the rose-color-tipped clouds.
Sometimes her bird’s eye view would transition to a sudden drop into a tunnel, where she saw him run and keep pace with his friend Albert as they debated the theory of exotic matter, all the while smiling back at the speed of light—smiling back at this distant runner trying to catch up. It would be when his arms released his hold and left her sleeping alone that her mind would darken, and she would awaken, screaming, for unexplainable reasons.
How silly her doubt must have seemed. He had centuries to perfect this process and had worked alongside the greatest recognized physicist in history. He was the one purposely unknown genius who looped it all together, centering on the fundamental theory. He knew what he was doing. Plus, he’d done nothing but protect and heal her. She looked deeper into his eyes, and the comfort of trust swept over her.
“Do you trust me?” His voice maneuvered through her thoughts, trying to find a way to fasten itself to her and pull her back from the hazy distraction of doubt.
“Yes, I do,” she replied.
He smiled, frozen in her stare, and then without thought, leaned in to kiss her cheek, but his denied intentions desired her lips instead and the force of his kiss literally stole her breath. He snapped back, angered by his own actions. He diverted his eyes, pretending to make some last-minute adjustments, as if he were afraid her direct stare would turn him into stone and then break him down piece by piece.
He could feel the heat of her frustration, and a cold panic rose up within him. “Promise to come back to me.” His voice pleaded as he glanced toward her face, but not at those eyes.
She thought that was an odd request. Why wouldn’t she come back to him? Aside from these strange last few weeks, he had led her into a new world of pleasure, happiness, and a constant feeling of safety. During this past year, the world he had introduced her to was everything she felt she needed. He was everything she wanted. He was someone she would never give up for anything or anyone. Her heart was bound to him.
“I promise,” she whispered. A slight smile appeared on his face and then disappeared just as quickly.
“Remember everything I told you. You must stay where you are. Stay on the bed! If you leave the bed, the process will be broken. I will only be able to hold the throat open for so long. Don’t interact if possible.” His words were strong but sincere. Her thoughts jumbled as she tried to listen to him. “Do you hear me? REMEMBER!”
She pulled her thoughts back together to focus on what he was saying. She fixed her undivided, yet searching, stare right on him. “Yes, I’ll remember.”
“Now concentrate on that time.” He looked up and reconnected to her unwavering stare—shooting
past everything he was, everything he had done, hitting bull’s eye at the center of his true self.
Her powerful stare also held a wish, an unrequited wish of more.
“You mean go to the beginning of my happy place.” Her humor usually made him smile,
but not this time.
He wandered too far into the depths of her eyes.
What he saw reflected back—beauty, strength, trust, love—locked him in place and then set him adrift there.
“I love you.” His words were gently whispered.
Breathing ceased, her eyes glazed, and shockwaves ran from her heart to every possible nerve ending. She had achingly desired to hear those words come from his lips. She wasn’t even sure anymore whether he was capable of truly loving. She had decided she would love him unconditionally and that would have to be enough. She began to form the words, but those sweet utterings hitched in her throat.
It was too late. He had blended into the darkness. It was quiet. She knew she could not delay the process with her sudden need to express her love too. The moment was lost.
Her eyes darted around the large warehouse room. Pockets of darkness remained at each glance. She scanned the far walls, visualized the concealed graffiti of mathematical equations and endless diagrams secretly cluttering the space. She peered at the same peculiar rectangular device placed on a table steps away from the bed. Her eyes fixated on the red glowing digital numbers and letters: 0 mps, present time at 11:22 a.m., present date at 6-17-2013. The final numbers glowed with the highest intensity: past date set to 06-17-2012. Everything in the room was a constant except for the one variant just revealed.
He loves me.
Her eyes scanned the room one last time before they closed, but not before she caught a glimpse of movement of a figure that loomed in the corner. She breathed in with the intent to steady her nerves and concentrate. The light sound of a pulsing heartbeat started.
She could now sense that he encircled her. This was really happening. This was going to be life changing, not only for her and him, but the world. The speed of his revolutions increased. She lost concentration and opened her eyes. She then allowed his movements to distract her.
Finally, she was able to concentrate on that chosen moment, for he was no longer a distraction. The earth below started to shake and push his revolutions to surpass the speed of light. He suddenly appeared as if he were as thin as a pencil and then vanished to the naked eye. This speed, when driven by the Earth’s sudden energy, had taken decades to induce. A whirlwind of energy lit up the circular path and cast light that illuminated the invisible equations and diagrams strewn along the walls.
Her mind centered now on their first encounter at the hospital. He had been in search of sustenance. She could remember his comfort. She never feared him like others had. She had somehow made a mess of her life, and he pulled her from her own mental wreckage…
Yes, this was the perfect moment in time to focus on for a trial revisit. She had chosen this particular moment because it was the beginning of a feeling of safety—when she finally woke up. She remembered hearing the heart monitor and smelling the scent of lilacs. Her eyes had focused in and out on the ceiling and then followed the curtain tracks to the wall, falling down the half-pulled curtain to the beeping monitor and past the filled vase, down to her bound arm, and then over to the side of the room. The clock on the hospital wall read 11:25. Her mind tried to make sense of where she was and why. But she couldn’t remember anything. Panic almost set in. It was at that exact moment he had stepped out from the curtain, and she met his steady, piercing, gunmetal-blue eyes as he stood there speaking only through them. His presence commanded attention. Even in the dim light, she had seen his beauty was breathtaking. Soft, dark waves of hair flowed across the crown of his head, laying a gentle cover to perfection around his broad oval face.
There was a rush of emotions as she laid eyes on this person she did not know. Or did she? She should have been scared, having a strange man standing over her. She was vulnerable, but she didn’t feel that way. She knew right away he was different. It was like her conscience sensed it, and when he spoke, she recognized his soothing voice from a depth where her subconscious dwelled. His voice was calming, familiar, and heavenly, but her Ian couldn’t be further from a heavenly being.
He had kept his distance as he talked so she wouldn’t feel threatened. She had the power of control. It was like being in a protective fortress where you suddenly realize no one, including yourself, is going to bring harm to you, and others could join your life when they were invited in. He stood guard between the doorway and the bed like a soldier who had been given indefinite orders to protect. Like he knew she needed protecting from something harmful in the world. Something had already caused her deep anguish.
This world she had woken up to was totally blank of past memories, but he brought a sudden comfort to her. He would remain her soldier in the hospital and a healer in his world until months later when their intense connection would soon be unbearable, and he would be summoned in to become more than her protector. It was then she would learn more of his fascinating secrets.
This moment in time included the black void that now engulfed her memory. She sensed she had given up on life, but when she saw him, she felt her life was worth living again. Yes, even in the darkness—of her memories and the hospital room—was the moment she felt reborn in the light.
Glimpses of the hospital room began to materialize. It was really happening! She kept visualizing the room, but it turned into more than a vision. She returned to that very moment a year ago. The inertia of it all brought about a redistribution of her body’s energy. The process was almost complete.
Her eyes saw the room from the inside looking out. The curtain was drawn halfway around her hospital bed, but she knew he was there waiting. The tan cabinets clearly labeled with medical supplies ran along the back of the room. She looked down to see the IV running along the side of the bed and into her arm.
The rush of her blood tingled the surface of her skin as it raced out from her pounding heart and back again. Elation rose in her but then seeped back out quickly as something shifted inside. Her mind released the picture of that moment. Echoes of her shallow breathing filled the darkness around her.
Where did it go? Where is he?
Everything started to shake.
Just then, the ground seemed to open up without warning.
She felt the floor completely give way.
Her unsupported body fell.
Then the deeply suppressed areas of her mind educed images of another version of self. She saw herself nearly lifeless on a floor, breathing shallow breaths, wishing to die. The crack of a bone. An image of a hospital. Images of him. Bruises. Iron bars. Unexpected euphoria fired through her veins, which was horrifying yet exhilarating. Then another image of a needle sank into her collapsed vein, and the euphoria spread again. She opened her mouth for mercy but had no voice. The worst parts of her life screamed at her every way she turned.
She kept falling into nothingness and then stretched out into more empty space that folded back down once upon time. Images invaded her cognitive realm and provoked hidden memories. She was dragged back further through her forgotten hell in a fast rewind. She was powerless. Her hands clawed frantically to grab hold of something and dig her nails deep to anchor herself. But nothing was there. It just kept dragging her.
Too far! Why did he let it go this far? Help me! Please help me!
A final image—the small casket. The etched numbers burned through her eyes: July 17, 2003. The blinking of lights went from high intensity back down to low and then repeated to the point of blurred blindness.
She used to do that all the time.
Her eyes remained closed, but she visually felt it all.
Suddenly, peaceful silence settled within.