Exploring my FREEDOM – gay diary by David Svoboda
My name is David. This diary is my true story!
I’m a simple guy from Prague in Czech Republic. That’s in Central Europe – a young country that has been under communists until 20 years ago, when we got our independence.
I’m 28 years old now and my world view has always been projected towards the west, not east. Towards the modern and free, not socialist and limiting. Luckily I lived in a family where these values were encouraged and nourished. Open mindedness, optimism and hard work are the values that I developed throughout my childhood.
I’ve been told I am cute, but I don’t always believe it. Sometimes I look in the mirror and see a real hunk. Then there are times I think I look strange – big pointy nose and chin, uneven ears and a skinny body, especially my legs. But I have been working out regularly for some time so I’m quite fit. I’m hairy, but keep my body hair trimmed short. It’s a sexy look if you are into that.
Less clear-cut is my love life; I don’t know if I have ever been in love. It’s a strange feeling to admit to yourself at 28 years old that you have probably never experienced romantic love. I mean I have had some nice people in my life, people that I really cared about and still do to this day, but I’ve never really felt in love.
My relationship with Dominic had lasted for five years. Had I loved him? Unfortunately, if I’m totally honest with myself, I have to admit – no. During the relationship, those feelings were complicated. Now that I was free, it was clear. I had not loved him. Did I care about him? Of course I did! I missed him a lot when we broke up. But after five years, you would miss anyone. People get used to each other, comfortable in the routine, even if the love is lacking.
After five years of relationship, my heart seemed to scream… Freedom! He loved me, and I knew that, I felt that! He wore his heart on his sleeve. While I felt, and knew I needed to be, free, I felt bad for hurting him by breaking up. He was so nice to me, very caring and generous, taking care of me whenever and wherever I needed.
One thing in our relationship did not work: sex. Our libidos were completely different – I needed sex often, he needed it very rarely. I was so horny, I felt I was going crazy. No amount of flirting or sensual touch could turn him on; nothing would make him give me what I wanted: for him to rip my clothes off and take me passionately.
After some time I gave up trying to seduce him and discovered the vast world of online porn. I enjoyed watching hardcore porn. But then I found the live cam scene and discovered I loved jerking off on a live cam stream with people watching me. During that time when I would get turned on and jerk with other guys online, I lost all sexual interest in Dominic. He did not even make me hard anymore. Now I was used to a hot guy from Brazil or that hung stud from the Machofucker movie getting me aroused. Sad, but true: I stopped trying with Dominic, and for some time, my newly discovered online porn world was enough to satisfy me. My new ‘sex’ life didn’t last for long though.
We didn’t cheat on each other and we didn’t look for threesomes. Though I was willing to experiment with that, Dominic was strongly against it. So sex, or the lack of it, became a big problem in our relationship – the problem that broke us up. I was feeling unhappy and unsatisfied to the point I could no longer take it and so I ended the relationship. Sometimes the best solution is also the hardest, the most painful. I was in my best years and was aching to be sexually satisfied. Dominic was not the person to do that anymore. So that was that.
I made a profile on an online dating site only three days after the break-up. I was ready to have real, hot fun with guys! Now I was free to do it; I was free to let go, to find someone real, to bring my love life out of the virtual world and into the flesh!
Very soon I started to plan a holiday. For the first time in five years, I was free to go wherever I wanted, to follow my own agenda. Visions of a journey across the USA captivated my imagination. I wanted to explore new places, meet new people and have a lot of fun. I wanted to go alone so I could have the whole time for myself. It was, after all, a celebration of my freedom. It would be my great adventure for the year.
After planning an itinerary and buying the tickets, I waited impatiently for the date of departure!
It finally came and my adventure began… This book is a diary from that trip. Have fun!
Related products
-
A Perfect Passion: Book One of The Passion Series by Piper Kay
For Damien, passion brings ecstasy, betrayal and danger that almost cost him his life. At the lowest point in his life, he discovers that true passion and loyalty have been staring him in the face all along. There is one problem he must surmount first, Dax is straight and carries a lot of baggage. What neither of them realize is that sometimes passion can also bring healing. That is if one is brave enough to take the first step. In a perfect passion, one must be willing to take the risk.
Bear Back Mountain by Artemis Wolffe
Bear shifter Hunter Reed has never had much luck in the love department. As if his struggles weren’t enough, the pressure of his family’s tradition to be mated by their 30th birthday is wearing down on him. In an effort to appease his family and ensure a strong line of heirs, he joins a dating service as a last-ditch effort, not expecting it to lead anywhere.
Fitness trainer and former party-goer Alexander Gray only craves one thing now; the comfort of a lifelong relationship. When he meets Hunter at their gym, the smoldering tension between them is undeniable. Before either of them realize it, their relationship is moving to the next level, as secrets are revealed and mysteries solved. That is, until one day the dating service calls Hunter to notify him of his ‘match’.
Betrayed and broken, Alex writes off what he thought was something special as just another mistake in his life. When Hunter comes after him though, he isn’t taking no for an answer. For him, love is more important than rules, which are made to be broken. Armed with the power of a granted wish, Hunter tracks down his lover to claim him as his own and to provide his family with the heir they desire.
The Wolves of Paris: Part One by Lance Roddick
The year is 1419. Paris has been devastated by plagues and war.
Tomas Lamont is a young peasant boy trying to survive.
When the powerful pack of Black Wolves attack and take over the city, led by their charismatic leader Courtaud, Tomas’s world is changed forever.
The Rescue by Derek T. Cole
The Harden City Chronicles is a series of novels, novellas, and short stories detailing the lives and adventures of the citizens of Harden City. They are all gay, romantic, and erotic in nature.
The first part of the series is a novella called “The Rescue”. It tells the story of Garth, a recently divorced man with a tough job: hunting the extremely nasty elements of Harden City. Trying to rescue an informant from a brutal death, he winds up with the rescued man in his home, and a relationship between the two develops.
It’s going to be tough going. Garth is a middle class worker in Harden City, but Dean, the one he rescues, is a resident of The Penn, the poor part of town. Harden City’s economic and social structure isn’t kind to the poor, relegating them to the slums of the city and making it almost impossible for them to get out. Dean is a fish out of water, seeing parts of the city that he’d never be able to see on his own. He’s due to go back to The Penn unless Garth finds a way to keep him out.
Garth begins to fall for Dean, but he knows it’s a doomed relationship. If it became known that he was gay, Garth would lose his job and all of his assets – making him as poor as Dean. He wants Dean badly, but Garth knows it will put his job and life at risk, including his ability to see his young daughter.
“The Rescue” is a gay romance with erotica. Fictional Harden City has urban fantasy and paranormal elements, but the relationship between Garth and Dean feels like the real world.
The question is: will they be able to work through the challenges brought on by their budding relationship?
Payce’s Passion- Book Two of The Passion Series by Piper Kay
It’s been seven years since Payce started his new life, and it was finally starting to feel comfortable…almost. But when his past catches up to him, Payce has to decide if he’s going to deal with the things he left behind, or if he’s going to keep running.
When his friends, Damien and Dax need help, Payce is forced to confront the one person who knows him better than himself, Braxton and the one who made him lose everything he held dear, Aaron. Seeing them both could change everything for Payce, and when past passions reignite, who will get burned in the end?
Blow My Whistle by Gin LaSalle
Night shifts at the NSA offices can get awful boring. Kyle is a calm, mild-mannered data analyst who just wants to finish work and go home to bed. But when his boss stumbles across a chain of the steamiest emails either of them have ever seen, the night takes a turn for the hot.
Derek has been working at the undisclosed facility much longer than Kyle has, and he’s no stranger to reading through private, intimate correspondence. It’s always been his secret pleasure.
Stuck alone in the office with a treasure trove of explicit photos, Derek forces Kyle to confront his secret desires, but only if he’s willing to do as he’s told…
This 5000-word story features intense scenes of light D/s in an office environment between a young man and his older boss.
Boots and Leather by T. Strange
Gavin has been going to motorcycle shows for years, hoping to find a hot biker who will introduce him to the BDSM he craves. After years of searching, he meets Terry, who seems to be exactly what he’s been looking for, and vice versa. Before they can play, Gavin has to learn about the differences between fantasy and reality.
Reviews
There are no reviews yet.