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About the author:
Thank you for reading my book.
What inspired you to write your book?
My life story, but written in fictional style.
Here is a short sample from the book:
I could feel an obvious pressure forming over my hand as it began to draw circles, gaining in strength and speed, upon the page as it spun… round and round, before coming to an abrupt stop in the centre, apparently worn out!
It paused there for a moment, as if it were looking at me curiously, before lazily making its way to a clean, unblemished part of the page.
It began at once to form words, as I looked on, dumbstruck…
“Gillian…. Relax your hand.”
The writing was not mine. Some unseen force, my arm growing increasingly numb with the unusual violation, was moving around my hand. I was stunned but remained calm. I felt no fear however and wondered briefly how that was possible, given the current circumstances.
I stared down at the pen for a moment as I considered what was taking place… Who was this?
The calm sensations within me began to change, like the onset of a sudden summer storm… becoming tinged with a kind of dreamy abandonment that seemed as if it were flowing over the top of me in waves. I was uncertain what was causing the sensation but it was definitely far from unpleasant.
I relaxed my hand to the best of my ability and sat bolt upright, my legs crossed in a yoga position, the book resting gently on my bare thigh.
As I watched the pen, it began to dance once more across the page.
“Do you know who I am?” The pen scribbled at me enquiringly, quickly this time. My hand was beginning to feel even more cramped up. Inside my chest, my breathing was becoming erratic and increasingly shallow.
“No.” I replied nervously. I watched as the pen took off again, clearly becoming less of an effort for the one who was moving it across the page by way of my own hand. My arm felt distant suddenly – as if it were no longer connected to my body at the shoulder.
“My name is Carl.” He went on. I continued to stare at the pen.
“OK.” I acknowledged after a moment. What else could I say?
“Can you remember the last thing I said to you when we spoke last?” The pen asked me quizzically.
I thought this to be a very strange question indeed, but rather than say so I replied politely.
“No…. I’ve never spoken to you before… as far as I know.” I was beginning to feel seriously nervous. This was simply a bizarre situation.
“We have spoken before.” He insisted and slowly the pen began to form the words
“I … WILL … WRITE … TO…”
I didn’t need him to finish the sentence. I instantly understood what he appeared to be implying.
I jerked my hand away and violently threw both the pen and the note pad across the room. Tears began streaming down my face as the shock of what he’d written, coupled with the memory of the dream, became too much for me to cope with.
I’d not thought about the man in my dream in at least 6 months. It’d been simply too painful to look at. Instead I’d discarded it to the back of my mind, vowing to get on with my life as opposed to looking for him consciously, deciding that he would no doubt find me when the time came. Was this really that time?
“YOU.” he finished sadly in my mind. I continued to sob, while my mind raced, trying to work out how he could possibly have known about those words. Even more upsetting was the thought that the man I’d sought to find could possibly turn out to be already dead! This was so not happening!
After a couple of minutes, I wiped my eyes and rose to collect the pen and paper I’d thrown across the room, before sitting back down resolutely on the floor as before. There had to be a logical explanation for all of this and I was going to figure out what it was.
I placed the pen on the page once again and waited. After a split second the pen broke into a run once more across the page.
“I am your husband. I have always been with you… It has been planned since before you were born, that I’d be with you again this night. Somewhere inside of you, you are aware of it, and it is for this reason that you are unafraid.” He explained softly.
Part of me wanted to believe him but I felt way too confused. I didn’t know what to make of any of it. My head couldn’t help but consider the fact that the man in my dream had stressed to me quite clearly, that it was of great importance that I remember those fateful words. Could this have been the reason he’d placed such a strong emphasis on them? It almost seemed as if this spirit was using them as a means of proving who he was to me.
I came back to reality, realising at once, that not only were his words forming on the page in front of me…his voice was sounding very clearly within my head… speaking to me in my own mind as the words were written by my own hand.
I could actually hear him, I realised suddenly in shock. How was this possible?
Not only that, but I was beginning to feel a number of strange sensations within my body, things I’d never experienced before. They were driving me to distraction, making it even harder to think clearly. My mind felt foggy.
Deep inside my chest, a feeling of need was developing…. excitement… hunger… and a strange vibrating sensation, mixed with a deep heat as if a furnace had just been lit within me… I felt as if every nerve ending was suddenly catching fire all at once. I was becoming intoxicated by it. It was deeply sensual, verging on erotic as well as calming in some respects.
I remained almost distant and impartial on another level… as if this night was happening to someone else and I was simply watching it all play out.
I felt hypnotised and glued to the spot… I began to tremble softly. Something very surreal was happening to me and I could barely breathe as a result… I couldn’t speak… and I certainly couldn’t think anymore. Actually, I didn’t want to think anymore I realised through the haze.
I could feel myself becoming woozy.
I lay the pen down on the book and closed my eyes. The world was beginning to blur around me. Never before had I felt anything quite as intense as the feeling of utter desperation and desire that was washing over me. I had no idea what was causing it or what it pertained to.
A shock wave went through me as I realised…. HE was causing it! HE was overwhelming me… taking me over…sapping my ability to make sense out of anything. In my head he spoke again seductively.
“Take off your gown and lie down for me.” He seemed to plead with me softly and yet it was also a command at the same time. It was the last thing I’d expected to hear him say.
It began to make sense to me finally…
The sensations I could feel…I knew what they were suddenly…
He was turning me on… I could feel him inside of me.
The realisation hit me like a brick. I had no clue what to do or if I were capable of doing anything even if I’d wanted to!
In my mind everything felt slow and became strangely dreamlike. I felt as if I couldn’t even consider doing anything but what he’d told me to do… He had some kind of power over me.
I’d never experienced anything close to that level of domination before. He was making me want to let him!