Christmas Bizarre by Lizz Lund
What do Santa’s Sidekick, a dead lawyer and a geriatric vampire have in common? Meet Mina Kitchen – a forty-something single who finds trouble quicker than she can whip up a batch of breakfast breads. Plural. Her catering disorder runs neck-and-neck with her weird luck, and her cat’s weirder tendency toward gnawing elf gear. Okay, and getting kidnapped a couple of times in one week is a little strange, too.
Her next door neighbor Vito’s past as ex-leader of the Moils, the Jewish-Polish Family from Bumville, New Jersey, comes to light and throws a dollop of dilemmas into an already simmering plot.
Top it all off with a counterfeiting ring, a county-wide dearth of holiday wrapping tape, and a mass of pets running loose at the local mall, and what do you have? A recipe for disaster that Mina whips to a froth.
Christmas Bizarre will keep you smiling when you’re not shouting up a belly laugh. Set in Lancaster, “Pee-Ay” you’ll discover a lively cast of characters, funny dialogue and lots of twists and turns. Hang on tight – you’re in for a slalom of a holiday ride.
Christmas Bizarre is packed with delightful surprises – along with a bonus of free recipes, vetted by Lund’s chef husband, for your own culinary creation and consumption.
**Recipes included!**
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About the author:
Lizz Lund loves Lancaster. Since 1999, she’s been having a terrific time here and thinks everyone else should, too. Christmas Bizarre is the sequel to her debut novel, Kitchen Addiction! Lizz grew up in New Jersey and imported her chef husband from their old stomping grounds – he still hasn’t recovered. She holds a BA in Musical Theatre from Syracuse University, but has never learned to waitress.
What inspired you to write your book?
From NJ. Unemployed. Transplanted to Pee-Ay. Everyone’s so nice here – it’s weird. I had a lot of time on my hands, and not too many friends at the time, so I made some up. The oddest one being a geriatric vampire who wears dentures.
Here is a short sample from the book:
I nodded and followed him into the kitchen. Chef is tall, dark and blue-eyed with black curly hair – and he smells like sugar cookies. When he’s not barking culinary instructions at me, my feet get tingly around him. Or when I think about him. My feet got tingly again and I stomped them to stop. Business was business, right?
I looked around, and saw a few dozen trays of cookies cooling on racks. Oh. So maybe that’s why he smells like cookies. Huh.
“Thank goodness you’re here!” Hilda hustled toward me. She’s the manager. I like her, she’s a good egg. I also like that she signs my paychecks. “C’mon! I need your help setting up fruit platters!”
I hung up my coat, washed and went to work.
We got the platters arranged, and Hilda finished her delivery instructions. “Now, I’ve got these all labeled, with the addresses on and everything. If you get lost, just use this cell phone. The customers’ phone numbers are on all the orders, see?”
I gulped. Cell phone? I still don’t own one. And haven’t the vaguest idea how to use one. But I can claim bragging rights for no brain cancer, right?
“Sure.”
She scurried away.
Chef looked at me. “You know how to use a cell phone, right?”
“Yep.”
He shook his head. “Well, umm… they’re all different. Here’s how this one works.”
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