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About the author:
Arabella R. Irvine is a Greenwich resident and Socialite. She is an American best-selling author of dating, romance, and feminist fiction books. Her books have been an Amazon #1 Best Seller, #2 in Feminist Theory New Release, and #19 in Feminist Theory Best Sellers.
What inspired you to write your book?
I was upset by women being taken advantage of by men in the dating world. I wanted to help women by offering a self-help dating guide to dating the wealthy and taking control of their lives.
Here is a short sample from the book:
This book is written as an anecdotal guide to securing a rich husband, boyfriend, or generous benefactor. The table of contents is your friend—the sections are there for you to come back and reference. Feel free to jump to certain sections that initially pique your interest, then come back and read the book from cover to cover. I will help you attract a man who gives to you before you have to ask, who treats you to luxury just because, who invests in your dreams because he has faith in your vision, who cares deeply for you and your safety, who takes note of what makes you happy, and strives to bring more of it into your life. You are deserving of all of this and more.
While my delivery may be crass at some points, this is not how you should communicate with your generous man. Never use vulgar language when dating. This book is meant to be read multiple times to ‘stay in the game’ and maintain the Billionaire Babes Club mindset in case you start to creep back into your old desperate ways and start talking to vanilla men and dusty exes. Similarly, some of the terminology in this book is meant to be in tune with the current jargon of women who are already part of this lifestyle.Chapter 1: Confidence + Self Care
Confidence can be heard verbally, seen physically, and felt emotionally. Everyone has a reason to be confident because everyone has something to offer. From this moment forward you are to look at yourself as if you are a prize to be won. If people don’t like you, they’ll find a way to interpret anything you say or do in a bad way. Never. Ever. Explain. Yourself. You’ll only give them more ammo. To hell with what they think. Confidence and high healthy self-esteem is number one. I can’t stress that enough. You have to look and act confident. Teach people how to treat you—let them know you will not tolerate disrespect and games. Take care of your appearance, never talk down about yourself in front of others, and don’t be afraid to cut somebody off if they don’t treat you right.
By the end of this book you will be an Elite Babe. Partying on billionaire yachts, accompanying some big-name actor to an event and getting 10, 20, 30, or 100k in cash allowances and gifts. You will be tailored to absolute perfection. You will have your eyebrows on fleek, long voluptuous hair, perfect teeth, furs, and jewelry. You will have a business pulling in a turnover of a couple million. You will have villas in Cannes, Monaco, Accra, Rio, and St. Lucia… You will be a boss woman in every area of life. And this all starts with you. Your best resource is you. That is the most profound lesson you should learn. If you stop denying yourself, and instead affirm, trust, and set yourself free, the answers will come. Your path to success will appear. I know. It sounds like New Age bullshit, but think about it. The human, like every other animal, doesn’t just want to survive. It wants to thrive. And like every other animal we’re hardwired to do so. We just have to remove our preconceived notions, fears, and societal pressures. We have to move them out of the way and start trusting our true selves.
Do what you say you’re going to do: not just for others, but for yourself. If you promise yourself something, or if you tell yourself you’re going to do something, do it. Not only will you be more productive, but you won’t feel the need to wallow in self-loathing over something you said you were going to do, and never got to. Anticipate the future: try your best to look out for your future self, even in the smallest ways. From picking something up off the floor so that you don’t trip on it tomorrow, to keeping a pack of makeup wipes beside your bed for those lazy days.
Self-care isn’t just drinking water and going to sleep early. Self-care is taking a break when things become overwhelming, saying no to things you do not want to do, allowing yourself to cry, asking for help from those around you, and doing things that make you happy. Value your time: for this is indeed valuing yourself. It’s okay to relax, lay around and do absolutely nothing sometimes, but dedicating your time to nothing is dedicating yourself to nothing. Value yourself enough to put your time to good use. Respect yourself, your belongings, and your space: you deserve to live in a clean, functional space. Respect your belongings, have a place for them, and put them in their place. Respect yourself by not letting others disrespect you. Set and assert your boundaries. Respect your space by setting the rules and enforcing them. You’re in charge here, and what you say goes.
It’s very important to have game when you’re trying to be a Trophy Wife or Spoiled Girlfriend, hell, in the dating world period. Men can’t walk all over you or use you, and you’ll never be in need of money when you have game. Being in love is nice and all, but having 6 figures in your bank account is even nicer. Besides, you can grow to fall in love with your man. Be honest, but nice—don’t be afraid to say how you feel, better yet, don’t be afraid to say “no”, especially if something makes you uncomfortable. Men aren’t afraid to ask for what they want (sex) so don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. Tell every man you entertain that you like to be taken care of and that is what you have been accustomed to throughout your entire life, and they can take it or leave it. If they leave it, they can have a nice life with the next chick.
High self-worth is as essential as water, sleep, and oxygen. You must believe you deserve it. You must believe you are worth “it”. And then take that a little higher, and add your wildest dreams to this ecosystem. Our thoughts nourish our minds. When we think happy and exciting thoughts, our mind actively searches for these things in our surroundings to reaffirm and validate them. Even if we don’t have it yet, when we think about a big dream or goal, our mind starts pinpointing the opportunities that lead us to achieve these desires. Whenever you feel lost in life, go back to the drawing board of your self-esteem. Build yourself up again, as many times as you need to, even when it feels like you are starting over. Self-love, vibrations, and energy are of utmost importance. Channel your highest self-regard before bed. Just a little reminder: when you’re struggling with a difficult situation, the best thing you can do is INSIST on championing yourself. Do not compromise. Do not falter. You are special. Aspire to be a woman who wakes up and loves what she does for a living, travels often, and is spiritually secure and financially stable.
Be yourself and don’t be ashamed of it. Don’t think you have to change who you are or what you like to keep someone. You might be the creative, artsy type, or the “boss chick” type, just own up to it. Your confidence will intimidate insecure girls and they will want to take it away by giving you mean stares in public. You should be flattered when a bitch is envious of you. You have something that they want but will never have, or can’t pay to get. They should know that talking down about you or anyone else is not going to make them skinnier, happier, prettier, smarter, richer, or better. Don’t blame them for being so jealous because your new life compared to theirs seems so much more desirable. It’s not your fault they don’t have the same opportunities as you. It’s funny because if they see you now, and know what you’re doing, they’d be jealous of you all over again.
You will need to develop thick skin. People will call you a whore, a gold digger, a user, and those are the kindest of terms. You are going to have to know yourself very well and maintain the utmost confidence. And if you don't come from money to begin with, or aren't uncomfortable around wealth, you will face even more criticism. You have to live your life and drown out the noise. Develop a callus to the opinions of others. Secure people are unmoved. If someone entering a room makes you livid, that person has incredible power over you. If you’re scribbling online about how much you hate them, they own you. No matter how great of a point you make it to show them your hatred, they will kindly hand you the shovel to dig your own grave.
Write down your goals and always remind yourself of the big picture. Create a vision board of your success. Visualize it. Dream about it. Obsess over it. Conceptualize it and manifest it into fruition. People start to get lost when their goals are not clear and if their lives are grossly inconsistent with their values and core priorities. Figure out what your priorities are in life and architect your life around those priorities. Challenge Yourself: know that you’re worth the time and effort that goes into anything you want to achieve. Challenging yourself and setting new goals builds self-confidence. Be in competition with you and no one else: don’t compare yourself to others, for you do not know their path nor their desired destination. You’re unique because you’re you, and no one else has your life experiences or exact perspective. You go through life alone and that’s how it’s always going to be. Sure you have family and friends, but it doesn’t really matter because everyone has their own life. Even if you put their problems before yours, chances are, they won’t do the same in return. In other words, secure the bag.
Lastly, I cannot stress this enough—build a routine. Build Habits. Wake up every day and get used to being productive, one day at a time. Do this for long enough and eventually you will reach your goal without even realizing it. Make a handwritten schedule and stick to it. This allows you to capitalize the most out of your time. Never waste it. Use your schedule as your own personal assistant. This helps alleviate stress and will contribute towards your success.
Don’t Chase a Man
And don’t make yourself too available to him—how he treats you is how he feels about you. Don’t try to decode it or make excuses. It’s simple, if he acts like he doesn’t care, he doesn’t care. Don't answer every call and don’t always respond right away to texts or emails. Even when you're at home doing absolutely nothing, don’t answer the phone. Call back about an hour or two later and act like you are just now checking your phone, or that you were busy. Keep phone calls less than an hour depending on whatever you’re talking about. Answer texts between 10-45 minutes after you see it. Don’t talk to him every day, at least every 2 days is fine (it gives you more things to talk about). Be the first to end the conversation most of the time, make an excuse that you have to go or that you’re driving. You hold the power. Men are trying to win you, you are the prize, and you need to treat yourself as such. No matter who you are dating, rich or not, you need to let him know that talking to a woman like you, is a privilege, because it is. That’s how it’s been, and that’s how it will always be. Stop working to get a man or keep a man. As a woman, you shouldn’t have to chase, if he wants you, he’ll work for it. If he decides to leave, open the door for him.
Chase after your dreams, self-improvement, personal fulfillment, and success. Strive to be a better person, more well-read, learn a new hobby, or perfect an old one. Get right with God, be at peace in your soul and spirit. There are so many more fulfilling things in life you can spend your time on. Chasing a man is how many women put their lives on standby and end up settling for less than they deserve. That man of your dreams exists, so put your focus on being an elevated version of yourself and you will attract him. Have your own life and identity outside of the relationship.
Where a lot of people, especially women, go wrong in relationships is when they are codependent with their partner and “can’t live” without them. Don’t ever lose yourself in a relationship, still pursue your goals and dreams. Have your own circle of friends and hobbies. Don’t bring your boyfriend along everywhere you go. You don’t have to spend every waking moment with him. Women appear a lot more valuable to a man when it appears that she does not have to be with him. Never plan your life around a man because he isn’t doing the same for you, instead he’s planning for you to revolve around his desires. He’s planning for you to go with what he wants. He sees himself as the center and you as his support. He isn’t here for your goals, even if he pays lip service to them. When you become inconvenient, he will leave you for a woman who will serve him more unconditionally. Focus on yourself. You always have you. Never give up an opportunity for a man. He wouldn’t do the same for you.
This book WILL change you. You will no longer check out the semi-attractive scrub you pass by in public. You will flirt with everyone and charm to the full extent of your ability, just to stay fresh. You will not be fazed when a man doesn’t text you back. You’ve got a roster. You will keep things to yourself and do it for yourself. You will gain so much confidence and value in yourself. Your standards will be so high, and for yourself most importantly. You are amazing, deserve the best, and there are people that will recognize that.
Chapter 2: Money Mindset
The Goddess Queen Persona
You can have anything you want if you’re willing to give up everything for it. If you want to live lavish, be drenched in designer couture, go on exotic vacations, you can. If you want something badly enough, you can find a way to get it. However, depending on your situation it might be harder for you. You may have to get creative, but you will find a way to achieve what you want. You live the life you choose, even if it’s not the life you say you want. Victimhood, making excuses, and pitying yourself will get you nowhere. If you want to do something, go make it happen. Stop making excuses. Whatever you’re not changing, you’re choosing. Read that again.
Stop blaming your trauma. Stop blaming the situation you were born into. Stop saying you can’t, or it doesn’t work like that for you, or you’ll never be able to do that, because it’s just not true. There are things in this world that you cannot control. But you have complete control over how you choose to live your life. Manifest it, align yourself accordingly, and start doing the things you want to do. Start being the person you say you want to be. Whenever I see a woman throw everything they do, all their motivation for a man, I shake my head. You are not even in a relationship with him, yet he has 24/7 access to your attention? Then you want me to find you the men I deal with—the billionaires?
Some affluent men will swallow your whole. Men will trick you, lie to you, and tell you everything you want to hear. They will say I love you just to get what they want. And they will have no remorse and no shame because they are not emotionally attached beings. They don’t dream about you, unless its a sex dream. They’re onto the next woman. Men are naturally selfish and that’s why nothing holds them back. Not love, not marriage, not kids, not family! Nothing! That selfishness is what I want you to learn ladies, please be selfish and stay selfish. Be a Selfish Babe. Never play fair in an unfair world. Women think dating these high-level men is easy. Vanilla men will hate you and will be intimidated because you will be accustomed to demanding what you want and leaving when you don’t get it. You won’t chill for free, won’t sext for free, won’t cuddle for free, won’t travel unless there is a reservation, won’t walk in the rain (he will send you a car service), and you sure as hell won’t have sympathy sex.
I remember repeatedly calling my ex’s phone and having him not answer. Two years later, I no longer call men, (unless we have established some sort of relationship—and it’s reciprocated). And when I do call them, it’s because I need something. But of course it’s masked as a sweet “checking in on you” conversation. I no longer place myself in a predicament where I have to pull someone towards me. And neither should you, especially with men. Your standards have a lot to do with the men you date. They will give you things because they know you won’t stay if they don’t. Absence and lack of communication makes the heart idealize a person. This subconsciously twists your perception of them into thinking that they are something greater than they actually are. They ain’t shit. They don’t care. And neither should you.
Make subtle reminders that you’re desired by other men. Never let your man think he’s comfortable and has no competition. I have no problem making occasional reminders about how much I’m approached by all sorts of men. In the back of his mind he’ll always wonder if he’ll ever lose you to another man, so he’ll continue to act right to keep you around. This is different from jealousy (when he controls what you do or wear)—that’s not cute and you should leave ASAP. A man that’s afraid to lose you will not do anything to lose you.
Don't just use this book on rich men. The key to endless cash flow is making sure every man around you is willing to drop that cash. If you can get a poor man to spend, you can get a rich one too—and vice versa. Do it to everyone. Watch how unchanged your checking account stays. There’s always money in the club. Every man with a credit card is full of potential. Just because he says he can’t afford it, doesn’t mean he can’t beg, borrow, and steal to get it. Run up his credit card. It’s up to you to make him fall in love with you. It only takes one.
Be Less Emotional
Overemotional women will not secure a wealthy man. Emotions will be the downfall of your success in attaining this lifestyle. Avoid reacting to every mood you experience. Recognize that yes, feelings are important and useful, but often temporary. Never let yourself be guided solely by an emotion. Do not ride the ups and downs of your heart. Don’t be thirsty for a relationship, be a little aloof and a man will try to prove himself to you. Act like you don’t care, because when women don’t care, that’s when men care the most. Stop being so desperate. A man's ego will kick into high gear and pursue you just to prove to himself that he could get you. If he gets you too soon and you are emotionally attached to him, he is in control of the relationship and has all the power. I don’t care if he’s rich. You need to be getting something tangible in return, regardless. A man can be worth 10 million but is stingy, and that type of man is irrelevant to you. Whereas a man can be worth 5 million and provides you with all the material things you desire.
Be less emotional and you will have all the power. If it’s easy to get you, it lowers your value to a man. High-value women only commit to a man if she is benefitting from him because commitment lowers her value. She is taking herself off the market and who knows, she could have met someone else next week. She could bump into a billionaire while grabbing her morning latte. So she needs to be compensated.
Don’t get attached and make the mistake of investing in men who haven’t even taken you out on a date, and who haven’t even invested in you and your future. The best way to do this if you are having difficulty is to date multiple men that are providing for you. That way your focus isn’t on one man. Plus, when one of them can’t help you with something, the other one can. Have other options. Never only date one man because men are not reliable. Don’t get too comfortable, always have another man in your back pocket. Never solely depend on one man. It’s like the stock market. You don’t just invest in one single stock, you diversify. One stock may tank but the other could skyrocket and double your returns. Never give your all to one person. Every good business understands the concept of multiple streams of income. The money can stop flowing in at any moment. If it’s only coming from one place, what will you do when it’s gone? Generate revenue from more than one place.