humor sci-fi

  • Project Mothership by ash gray

    0 out of 5

    Rose, a sweet and kind librarian, is on her honeymoon with her goofy gym teacher husband when the trip takes a turn for the worst and she is abducted by aliens. When the spacecraft is attacked by the enemies of Empress Nashal, Rose makes it back to Earth freshly impregnated by alien royalty with said enemies on her heels. Now faced with running for her life, she is joined by Zita, a cheerful alien marine, and must make the choice between her unborn alien child and her baffled husband, who believes the child is his.


    “Who are you!” Rose called, aiming her white weapon at the door. “I’ve gotta Stainmaker 2000! And I’m not afraid to use it!” She was a tad insulted when she heard the woman on the other side of the door laugh derisively.

    “Your people just got cell phones less than two hundred years ago,” the woman said, unimpressed. “You think I’m scared of your widdle plasma pistols?” She sighed. “Look, Mrs. Carmichael –”

    “Some of them are mech,” said Zita, nimbly picking her high heels through the steaming pools of red goo and severed, wriggling limbs. She was splattered with blood and grinning as she came to them, but she frowned to see the utter bafflement on Rose’s face. “Hey, snap out of it. Haven’t you seen mech before?” She kicked a man’s severed head, and Rose gasped when his face slid off, revealing a skull of gleaming silver metal.

    Rose shook her head. “Mech are illegal. The government s-said they feared a robot war!” she insisted, turning to follow as Zita limped past her.

    Zita laughed dryly, folding up her rifle and tucking it under her skirt. “Is it so hard to imagine your government lied? Governments tend to do that.”

    “Drop. Your weapon. And. Come quietly,” said a robotic voice.

    “Kiss. My ass,” said Zita, mocking the robot’s tone.

    “I’m surprised you haven’t come to hate humans,” Rose said with hesitation. “I mean, given all that happened to you here. I’m pretty sure assimilating wasn’t easy either. You have a sort of foreign look for an American, and Americans are notorious for their xenophobia.”

    Zita laughed softly. “Me? Hate humans?” She darkly shook her head. “I fought in the Midnight War for thirty years, Rosie. I know what happens when people let hate make decisions for them.”

  • Alien Advantage by Lorain O’Neil

    0 out of 5

    Comfortable. Safe. Orderly.

    That’s what Mark Hemmings happily thinks of his law student life until one balmy Florida night he foolishly runs out to gawk up at that light in the sky. Zap! Mark is kidnapped by space aliens.

    When the aliens’ experiment on Mark teaches him a little too much, Mark is able to accidentally steal an alien ship and plunge back to Earth only to land smack into the clutches of General Peerless and Dr. Montgomery, the warring co-directors of Little Island. Little Island, the U.S. government’s secret facility where the government “collects” abducted returnees who’ve been taught by the aliens to utilize their brainpower in special new ways, like telepathy and telekinesis, or in Mark’s case, how to fly a spaceship with just his thoughts. Being the only person who can –sort of– fly the spacecraft makes Mark just what the government and Caroline, a fellow prisoner, are looking for. Not that Mark’s feelings matter, because no Returnee has ever escaped Little Island. But then no Returnee has ever arrived with his very own spaceship!

    This is a novel about aliens in which there are no aliens, but a main character fighting for free will and love, as he, the Doctor and the General, battle each other to triumph, the Doctor by clever manipulation, the General by crushing force, and Mark and Caroline by their cunning, wits and… spaceship! A humorous story of chase and determination, love, and above all else, refusing to forget who you really are, despite the craftiest of temptations.