MASHED is an anthology of 17 stories culled from over 200 submissions and includes authors from around the world.
Each story is a unique blend of horror, humor, food and sex, resulting in tales that will leave you both scared and slightly turned on, while laughing out loud and contemplating whether or not you should have your next meal.
A Woman’s Corn – Two secret lovers with more secrets then either of them knew, brings about a special witches brew while the devil stews.
By J. Donnait
Charlies Chunky Munching Meat – A tale of obsession over a certain pink meat, gone too far.
By Stephen McQuiggan
Halloween Nosh – Two old-world vampires celebrating their love during the holidays with a special feast in the dungeon.
By Brandon Ketchum
Biscuit : A Love Story – A baker’s dreams destroyed by a homeless man with unnatural hungers, leads to super-natural revenge.
Burnt Scrambled Eggs – What happens when your succubus lover stays over for breakfast?
By Devon Widmer
The Disagreeable Dinner – Ever eaten a bad meal? Not like this one. Join us for this strange and hilarious case of food poisoning
By Mark Daponte
Sugar – Honey is sweet, but when a potential sugar daddy turns out to be one of her high school teachers, a night of planned BDSM fun ends in a most unsavory of ways.
By Darla Dimmelle
The Henry Problem – Fruit as an aphrodisiac, exorcisms for dummies? All that and more!
By John Grey
Nibble, Nibble, My Wolf – It’s all the rage to reimagine fairy tales these days and this story gets it right in the most beautifully twisted and erotic way.
By J.L. Boekestein
The Wrath of the Buttery Bastard Taters – GMO’s are out of hand. A couples romantic dinner turns into a nightmare when their frankenfood decides to eat them instead.
By Alex Colvin
Sauce – When cooking lessons lead to a new fetish, narcissistic Bart, takes self-satisfaction to a new level.
By Steven Carr
The Care and Feeding of your Personal Demon – Be careful what you wish for. Sometimes, asking for a little help from down below can come with a lifetime of demented and hilarious torment.
By Maxine Kollar
P.A.C.D. The Kitchen of Tomorrow, Today! – Advancements in technology are often quickly perverted for sexual experimentation. Find out what happens when a couple’s cooling romance heats back up with a new kitchen appliance.
By R.A. Goli
Arabica – Do you like coffee? Maybe a little too much? Here’s a tale of a woman using BDSM aversion therapy to overcome her caffeine addiction.
By Cobalt Jade
Toilet Manners – Marital impropriety leads to the strangest meal of a man’s life after a visit to a glory hole inside a fancy french restaurant.
By Eddie Generous
The Stray – Is the story of a man’s lifelong dedication to helping strays. But, what happens when one gets a little upset when he announces he is moving away.
By Calypso Kane
The Old Man in the Suit – Voodoo and baked goods outside a lesbian bar during Mardi Gras.
By Nicholas Paschall
Do you like food? Sex? Horror? Humor? Then this book is for you!
Guaranteed to leave you scared, aroused and possibly a little hungry.
Targeted Audience: Female and male readers 21+ that like dark humor, kinky sex and horror.
Grivante is the publisher and author of one of the stories in MASHED. He is also known for his humorous action adventure horror series The Zee Brothers: Zombie Exterminators.
What Inspired You to Write Your Book?
I wanted to write something that took something wholesome and twisted it around in both a humorous and horrible way while also having sex appeal. After writing my short story, Biscuit: A Love Story, I realized it needed some company and opened up a call for submissions.
We received over 200 stories and chose the best of the best to titillate, amuse and sometimes, horrify.
Read more, including a sample from the book
Sample from Book:
An excerpt from the story, PACD: The Kitchen of Tomorrow, Today! By R.A. Goli
“You can open your eyes now.”
Melanie frowned when she saw the renovated kitchen. She stared, mouth agape at the space-aged looking installation. Gone were the wooden cupboards with their wrought iron handles and the open shelves that held her recipe books and collection of mismatched glass bottles. Replaced by sleek and shiny glass and silver.
“Surprised?” Mike asked.
“Um, yeah. Shocked would be more appropriate,” she said. Then turned to face her husband.
“It’s your anniversary gift. That’s why I sent you to the spa this weekend, so they could install it,” he said, beaming.
“Uh, thank you, but why did we need a new kitchen? I loved the old one. It had personality, charm. This looks like it came from a spaceship,” she said as she turned to look at the kitchen again.
“I know but you’ll love it. This is more than a kitchen. This is your Personal Automated Culinary Droid. Come, I’ll show you,” he said as he grabbed her hand, pulling her towards a tablet that was fixed to the wall. He started swiping and tapping at the screen, his fingers moving too fast for her to follow.
“Slow down! I can’t tell what you’re doing,” she said, her irritation increasing, though Mike remained oblivious.
“Sorry, sorry, I’m just excited,” he said. “So I’m just going to set it to do a simple recipe so you can see it in action. Then I’ll show you all the features.”
A few more swift movements, he hit ‘enter’, then grabbed his wife’s shoulders and spun her towards the kitchen. Mike had measured out the ingredients and arranged them on the bench in individual bowls. She watched as a pair of robotic arms came into view from a panel in the back wall, descending to the kitchen bench. The arms meticulously diced onion and pancetta, sliced mushrooms and tomatoes, and chopped parsley and basil, placing each item back where it had come from. Next, it grated cheese, then cracked eggs into a bowl, whisking them with a finesse she was surprised a machine was capable of. It turned on the stovetop and scooped up a knob of butter with a spatula, placing it into a waiting frying pan. Melanie watched, enthralled as the culinary droid fried onion, added the pancetta, then tossed in the vegetables and herbs.
“Is that a sensor?” she asked, pointing.
“Yeah, it has sensors in its hands and along the bench. You have to get out the ingredients and in the correct quantities and put them on that sensor. That way the robot knows what to grab when and what it’s supposed to do with it. You put them in order, see?” He moved forward and gestured for her to follow. She could see faint numbered lights on the sensor underneath the bowls. “It’s also got a refrigeration mechanism under the sensor plates, so it will keep food cold for hours until it’s ready to start cooking.”
“So what’s it cooking now?”
“Just frittata. I didn’t want it to take too long. Should be ready in about half an hour,” he said.
“But how does it know that, did you program the recipe in or something?”
“It comes with hundreds of recipes built in but you can also add your own. Either by uploading them to the database or punching them manually into the control panel,” Mike said, the excitement in his voice evident. “So do you like it?”
Melanie nodded, mesmerized as the machine’s arms drifted gracefully across the stove and bench top, placing ingredients into the frying pan and stirring it with care. Mike was trying. Clearly, this extravagant gift was to make up for the fact that they had grown a little distant lately, both working long hours. This at least would give them some extra time in the evenings. She turned to him and smiled.
“I think it’s great. I for one am sick of coming home and eating take out or cooking at nine p.m. Thank you,” she said and threw her arms around his neck, giving him the most passionate kiss she had in months.
The droid continued, adding the egg and cheese, tilting the pan to ensure the egg mixture covered the vegetables. After about ten minutes, it turned on the grill and placed the pan underneath to cook the frittata’s top. Once it was lightly golden, the robotic arms removed it from the grill, cut it into wedges and transferred two slices each onto waiting plates. They sat at the dining table eating and watching as the droid arms cleaned up. It put the dirty dishes in the inbuilt dishwasher and wiped the surface of the bench down. Once the kitchen was clean, the dishwasher started, and the arms retracted back into the wall.
Later, when Melanie climbed into bed next to her sleeping husband, she felt closer to him than she had in a long time. She watched his peaceful face, and the rise and fall of his chest; pleasantly surprised by the unexpected tingling between her legs. They had both been too busy and too stressed to be intimate, and she hadn’t wanted to. But now, as she traced her fingernails gently down his chest and stomach, and watched his cock slowly awaken, she felt slick with want. Her attentions woke him.
He smiled at her, then rolled to his side leaning on one elbow and snaked his other hand between her legs, running his knuckle over the wet material. She rolled onto her back, spreading her legs for him, while he teased her, stroking her center, and then moving his fingers away. She became impatient as her arousal grew.
He grinned down at her, then slid his penis deep inside, his muscular body pressed against hers. They both moaned as he entered her, and Melanie thrust her hips up to meet him. He swirled his thumb around her clitoris as he fucked her and was polite enough to let her come first. Her breath quickened and her body felt flushed as the waves of pleasure spread from her aching clit and throughout her body. When she cried out his name, he could no longer hold on and shuddered in his own climax.
Get the rest of the story and more inside MASHED!